Tourist Sauce (Scotland Golf): Episode 12, Royal Dornoch
Tourist Sauce (Scotland Golf): Episode 12, Royal Dornoch


We’re out here at #10 at Royal Dornoch this is unprecedented we have a Tin Cup-esque situation it has nothing to do with carrying a hazard, it has to do with him firing hosel rockets into the gorse on the right. This one might go backwards. This is our third…Royal Dornoch was the perfect capstone for our trip I think if you look at the top golf courses in Scotland probably somewhere in the top-5 you’ll find the Old Course, Carnoustie, Muirfield, Turnberry, and Dornoch in some order Royal Dornoch has never hosted the Open Championship, yet it holds that kind of pedigree when it comes to golf in Scotland. Conditioning is top-notch its, its got scale God, I feel like I’ve said every course on this trip is my favorite course but Royal Dornoch was the one that I mean, it’s just on another it’s on another level, it just takes every element and raises it to the nth degree It’s cool to think about the fact Donald Ross grew up in the area played the golf course and was inspired heavily by its design in a lot of his golf courses he laid out later in his life If you can’t tell I like the course a lot This is it This is the final 18 holes, the Dash to Dornoch we’ve made it Tron is in the lead at 288 I am in second at 266 DJ is at 208 and Big Randy at 188 Two points for Deej this morning, six for Randy How many did DJ have? Two SICK! “What hurts?” Well everything hurts “Looks like you have a little pain behind those eyes” but, yeah I just can’t find the club face so it’s you know you’re not even playing golf you’re just playing f****** swing defense like totally nervous Is someone having a bit of a go at us? We ordered ham and cheese, uh, toasties, and we got haggis and cheese toasties It’s fine “What does it taste like?” “Tastes like haggis” Kinda like roast beef It’s, it’s pretty obvious look Tron is Tron’s nervous he couldn’t get his haggis bon-bon’s down he left his chicken behind didn’t finish his beer “Uncle Tron” You don’t wanna admit that you take it seriously but after you play that much golf and you know, I’m competitive by nature I think Soly is too and uh you know we wanted you want to win I didn’t want to like admit it but like I was I was grinding near the end I really wanted to win this “This is really cool” “guests from all over bring a ball marker to leave” “Now we’re here with our leader, Tron Carter “how’s he going to handle the pressure?” “Oh, he loves it!” “God, he loves the cauldron” “Here we go, we’re at the first, 336…” “Soly’s worried driver might be a bit much” “and it very well may be” “laced it, mate” Certainly not the shot I wanted to have on the first hole “bit of a test here for Tricky Tron” “putt it through the bunker” “nice try” “enjoy the jail cell, pal” “yeah it turns out driver was a bit much for Soly at the first” what an effort, dude, come back! “SICK!” God that was good you suck dude It’s got such a great set of par 3s every caddie there will tell ya on the second hole Tom Watson called it the shortest par 5 in the world I think every course in Scotland has one of the shortest par 5 in the world but you are at great risk of ping-ponging back and forth if you miss the second green either to the left or to the right We had one guy learn that the hard way “will it hold?” “it will not” “oh he’s out” “good play” From that walk from #2 to #3 tee and and you kinda see the rest of the course open up in front of you “Gentlemen, welcome to Royal Dornoch” The golf course is it’s like a masterpiece it is just full of such interesting shots you look up and you’re thinking alright that’s the line I want to take and then there’s like a bunker right there and you’re like okay well I gotta go left of that one well if I go left of that one I gotta start thinking about this bunker blah blah blah and it’s like that for eighteen consecutive holes There’s absolutely no weaknesses and I think that whereas you might look at a place like Cullen as you know that might have been my favorite day that we had because of the weather and because of the company and because of the quirkiness and because of all those things I don’t think that there’s any doubt that Royal Dornoch is the best test of golf that we played non Old Course division I don’t want to get any the haters and losers can leave me alone on that one “#5 might be one of the greatest holes I’ve ever seen” “Alright we’re here at #6” “Randy, what does the yardage book say about #6?” “a pretty straightforward par 3, huh?” Yeah yeah uh some bunkers whatever and then is says choose your club carefully and think of the choices you have made in life you have to live with the consequences That’s kind of deep So… Umm Royal Dornoch has by far the most interesting yardage book I’ve encountered anywhere You know it shows you the hole, the layout, and all that but what’s really cool they have, and I’ll quote from it a short piece on each hole written by a local minister Reverend Susan Brown “these thoughts are not designed to provide you with the perfect excuse to go golfing instead of to worship but offer an opportunity to help your game to be a more complete experience as you begin a round that exercises body, mind and spirit.” And listen, that’s what I’m all about So #12 just flipping to it randomly It says: “a path crossed the fairway reminisce and share with your partner how the path of your life crossed with a significant other in your life think of how wonderful is the gift of love.” And, you know, like how cool is that? You’re out there grinding like I’m worried about my swing, I got the shanks and it’s like, none of that matters at all And not to sound hokey but it really did help me appreciate where I was and make it a more special experience Yeah, so actually a friend of ours Wes Hardenn, Dr. Wes Harden D.D.S., from Greenville, SC who’s the club champion at Greenville Country Club in South Carolina and Royal Dornoch He’s got club championships on both sides of the Atlantic which is a pretty unique flex he said if you hit the green on all four of the par 3s you’re you’re doing something right like that’s very rare Hey Wes, that’s two-for-two dog “Come on, there’s plenty of room inside “those are pretty good” “you need us to mark those?” I’ve played a lot of rounds here, I don’t think I’ve seen four sitting there very often While somebody’s playing through our group we uh the three of us hit our shots yours was a little bit scummy, DJ I’m not going to lie “gotta go” You said it on the video yourself “did I?” Yeah yeah That was scummy that was scummy I feel bad for that, guys “Oh! It can be done!” “You can make 2” “Our leader!”We’re here at #6 at Royal Dornoch we are, what, one two three paces off the green if you miss here… Lot of divots down here Please bow your heads while I read from the Yardage Book “A wide and straight fairway greets you yet this hole is Stroke Index #2 sometimes it’s when life appears straightforward that we find ourselves surprised by troubles Now turn around and look behind you be stunned by the view I actually like the old seventh So they’ve basically picked up the 7th hole lasered everything and they moved it or they’re in the process of moving it a hundred yards to the right and that’ll open up uh a different angle for the tee shot on #8 “that’s your view” “love the water there” “hope we can get back to our hole from here” “Okay, number 8…” “Randy what can you tell us about this one?” “Focus on Dunrobin Castle in the distance I don’t see it but don’t forget the drop! A reminder for people of faith that they have not to be so heavenly minded that they are of no earthly use! Keep your eyes ope to who and what’s around you. This is a reading from the Book of Yardage So I’ve seen a lot of people tweeting about, um my bunker play No, the s****** part was like I’m usually like a pretty good bunker player like I don’t know what happened You’re just all of your feels shoutout to Tiger all of your feels are totally gone and you just, I blacked out for seven straight days and forgot how to hit a bunker shot which was really good timing That was a really good place to not be able to hit a bunker shot that was super fun “oh Piehowski’s done it” “Update as we make our turn to the homeward nine” Nine holes to play Tron is on 292 I am on 284 DJ 208 Randy 178 Might be a two-man race at this point “You think we can make ups hundred points?” I think games and betting it’s just not right allow me to read from the Book of Yardage I think our focus should be elsewhere not not on these games of chance and luck and what have you Allow me “Fauran is Gaelic for a well or a spring. Did you notice it? You passed a little river that otters tumble down in the early morning Now you are at the halfway house-take (or buy) a drink and think of the simple joy of being refreshed.” This is a reading from the Book Yardage thanks be to Donald “Thanks be to Donald” So #10, I’ll never forget #10Another one! What you got to understand is the shanks are like like I can feel it, right? Man, Randy got in his own head it it just didn’t seem like that big of a deal but he was so committed to the fact that he had the shanks after one shank He is like, dude, I can’t even play coming in we’re like no, no, no hit another one, hit another one Bang! Another shank I’d really been battling them all trip and it it just felt like a matter of when not if Come on! I just can’t from here I just don’t know what to do And you know golf’s like the worst thing in the world because you know it’s going to happen and yet you just have to get on with it like I couldn’t call a time–I could’ve stood on that box for two hours trying to get the proper feel for my golf swing um had that been like socially acceptable I just knew I was going to shank the ball “that’s a good swing thought” But I feel like I’m almost coming like that “well yeah you are because you’re not squaring it up” “this is attempt #4”“Progress. That, that counts”“Randy I’m proud of you man” “Randy, thank you for sacrificing the body. You overcame your demons.” And I think I ended up shanking like three more before I had enough And that was like the breaking point for me I played the rest of the back nine with just woods and a putter Not bad, I parred #16 which is this huge uphill par 4 I hit driver then driver off the deck and two-putted I was really happy with that one Couple holes it wasn’t good at all Yeah it was tough in the bunkers trying to like carve a hybrid out of the bunker was tough “One may call this a bit of a spot of bother” Yeah yeah it’s not ideal Might need to get deep in the rule book and see what technically constitutes a legal stroke Is this a stroke? If I give it one of those? “Well I wouldn’t turn a 7 iron over” Well I wouldn’t listen to what your advice is “Well I haven’t shanked one of these” I think that’s the play “I mean you’ll take that” It’s really not that hard of a shot “This is for the mega up and down” “Not today please thank you” I’ve hit a lot of honest putts that just haven’t gone in “What do you think, nine holes to go, do you think Tron’s going to hold on?” F*** no Soly’s going to f****** go… “It might look like who’s the guy at the Braves game, The Freeze?” “Tron’s off to a big head start but The Freeze is coming” “Not today” “Oh maybe, come on” “Go in” “Shot. Good Shot” “Here comes The Freeze….ohhhh!” “Good three” “eight to play” “Alright it seems maybe you need some good vibes after that last one” Yeah for sure “What are you seeing here about the 11th?” So the 11th is called Approach It’s “a long hole with the chance of a seat at the end.” “How important is rest and relaxation?” “Be at peace – no matter the score” That’s like This is another reading from the Book of Yardage Thanks be to Donald “Oh look at this shot” “That’s so good” “People at home have no idea how hard that shot was” The British fans know “Oh my God” “Great shot” “That might be the shot of the tournament. Seriously.” 298 to 290. Six holes “Randy from 165, he’s got a hybrid” Ah just going the other way I can’t remember exactly what tee we were on I think it was #12 or #13 when you could start hearing the bagpipers The weather got a little bit more blustery, the temperature dropped I think there was some moisture in the air uh, and it just set the it was just the perfect way to to end the trip and kind of put a bow on everything it was the quintessential Scottish golf experience setting sun, fading light and playing one of the best golf courses in the world “Mr. Phil, punching a hybrid” “hit it” “Great shot” “The lead has been cut to six” “with five to play” “The Freeze, closing in” #14 is really, really cool it’s bunker less but it’s the kind of perfect riddle to solve you kind of got to hug the one side to get the proper angle but it’s just not a comfortable shot hitting it down the left side Aghhh “Good play” “And he’s done it” And then Soly pretty much caught me heading into heading into #16 “Great shot” Oh F***! “Oh our leader has seemed to have found some gorse” “Not good” And I had to take a uh, oh, what do you call it? An unplayable some people on the video might say that is was a scummy unplayable, it was more than a club length but I found the ball I just I took kind of an Irish drop combined with an unplayable and then Soly inexplicably from seemingly the middle of the fairway blew one into the gorse I was just like it was an out of body thing watching it Tron’s competitive grit it’s not really existent I would say I had him, I had him beat, I ran him down and I collapsed, I… doubled #16, I don’t know what happened from the middle of the fairway I was striping it at Dornoch, I had the lag going in the swing And just a brief moment where I just lost concentration and I made a double and that was the difference maker, that was it the tournament was won on the 16th hole And I’m really hesitant to make the comparison at all I hope you don’t edit this part out but it gave me incredible perspective on what it’s like to watch guys compete on TV because I had one guy I needed to run down, just one of them the guy I wanted to beat the most And I couldn’t do that like I couldn’t even beat Tron so like how these guys are able to hold off fields full of ten guys running behind them that are actually world-class players it really did kind of put things into perspective for me I haven’t played a competitive round of golf in fifteen-plus years like a true competitive round and this felt like the most intense competition and there was nothing on the line at all You know you didn’t want to win like that after that is was pretty much I had to just buckle down “I don’t know, 120, and he’s going to chip a little hybrid” “Good leave, he should be able to actually putt it with the driver right up that ramp” “#17 at Royal Dornoch this might be my favorite hole on the entire trip” “Tron Carter this is kind of a huge putt” “Five” “Zero points” “Soly picks up two more” “Six point ballgame” Barring a hole-out of any kind Tron just needs to get in the house with five…or less He’s taking the long solitary walk to the last hole Modern Jean van de Velde Eighteen is a ball-busting finish too I mean, it’s, it felt like it was playing 600 yards straight into the wind straight into the sunset 135 holes across however many courses that is Tron now looking like he may emerge as the champion Guys if you’ll allow me I’d like to conclude our not only our round today but our round our trip here in Scotland with a reading from the Book of Yardage please bow your heads “As you prepare to tee off think of the number of people in the last 400 years who have stood where you are. Regardless of your round be grateful for the energy to play and for the company and the scenery. Take a deep breath. Swing slow and true and give thanks for the exercise of body, mind, and spirit This is a reading from the Book of Yardage Thanks be to Donald “Thanks be to Donald” “Tron Carter going through his routine” “as he prepares to play the biggest hole of his life” “Oh, and it’s a cracker of a drive!” “Beauty” I think that’s all I’ve got, guys “He’s got 217” “dead into the fan” “I think even he would tell you this isn’t the best place for a must-make birdie” Heroic 3 iron? “What’s that?” Heroic 3 iron? “Heroic 3 iron it’s going to be” Really bad “Really bad he says!” I’m out of gas “Sounded good” “On the green!” Two putts to clinch Last hole of the trip here can’t hold anything back now this is kind of an homage to our forefathers we’re gonna play the mega ground game “Has he given it enough?” That’s way short huh? Whatever hopefully it’s good video “Tron Carter has two putts for the win” “he’s given this quite a rap” “really good weight!” really good weight!” “excellent weight” Ohhhh, the putt of his life” “will he finish or will he put a mark on it?” “is he going to put a mark?” “oh he’s gotta put a mark on it” “That is a win for the ages!” “God, a weeklong marathon” Congrats man, you did it. You did it! “Two heavyweights going at it” You’re going to be a father!“Cheers boys!” Let’s get the hell out of here“Let’s drink beer!” This whole trip was just make believe, it was just a dream to get these conditions that we got and to have it Saturday afternoon the course almost entirely to ourselves in this weird kind of moody light And we we’re coming in the back nine there’s bagpipes that start playing in the distance And I’m like, dude, this is fake this is all fake there’s no way you could craft a trip that would be have this many successes in it the golf being so great the conditions so great finishing at one of the best golf courses in the world and being just so remote out there man it was the perfect way to end the trip. We sadly wrapped up the trip went back to Edinburgh still some debate on how to pronounce it I just don’t think we have the proper accents to to pronounce it at all unless we are really able to capture the Scottish accent Well first of all it’s Edin-bragh alright? The way that Randy pronounces it is, it’s disgusting I love seeing new cities for the time and that was the first time I had been in Edinburgh We had a great tour guide shoutout Yvonne she took us all around the city we really got the full tourist attraction That night in Edinburgh was that was like the glorious madness “Talk to me about that last night in Edinburgh” Oh gosh, we got a little loose Having everything on hard drives and captured and everything done yeah I think we were ready to… get turnt.The night out in Edinburgh listen, I’ve flown across the Atlantic several times and one thing I’ve learned is you don’t want to be hungover flying across the Atlantic either direction, you just don’t No one heeded that advice, including myself I got caught up in it listen we all got excited that violinist started just cranking out the hits Big Randy’s eyes were just beating like a cartoon at this woman and the dancing commenced and I think we had already called ‘cut’ we had called a wrap that we weren’t going to film anymore but some of that dancing just had to be captured.So it was, it was a good way to cap off the trip and uh and really I think my dancing skills have improved drastically over the last few years. I was lucky enough to do a big trip through Scotland last summer before I moved home it was fun but it was a solo road trip it was, it just didn’t have that camaraderie factor you’re kind of staying by yourself each night. I mean this is where I wish I had like a better vocabulary or like I was smarter or could offer something more profound but…it… it met and exceeded all of my expectations I’m just excited, you know there’s more of Scotland to explore outside of where we went you could spend a lifetime going back and exploring the place. It was everything I could have asked for for my first Scottish experience I think, hopefully the takeaway from this Series is that all of those things, this entire trip is is doable It’s not gonna, you’re not gonna come back jet-lagged for six weeks you’re not gonna get lost you’re not gonna have any issues with language barriers or anything like that It is, if you wanna take a golf trip you need to take this golf trip. Advice I’d given somebody planning a trip it’s so tempting to try to drive all different places And I think it’s important to get to maybe two different regions but you can set up shop in one place there’s definitely a great golf course within driving distance of that And there’s so many other golf courses that maybe you haven’t heard of maybe you have but to get to experience what golf is like at “normal” places in Scotland is maybe the most eye-opening factor of a trip or most eye-opening and most fun experience of it is when you roll up to a place and they’re like what brought you here–even the people that are members there it’s kind of cool, you feel like you’re, I don’t know off the beaten path more than a Bag Tag Barry is this is coming from a Bag Tag Barry, by the way In Season 1 I think was obviously based in Australia and for the bulk of our audience it was hey Australia is really really hard to get to in case you never make it here’s what it looks like And Season 2 I think was much more you know it had a different feel that was kind of hey this is where basically all of golf history started so let’s lean a little heavier on the history aspect of this let’s kind of teach people a little bit more about these courses while obviously showing us you know still looking like idiots and not being able to play out of bunkers that’s a fun element of it too And Season 3 is going to feel a lot different than either of those and uh hopefully we’re still, none of us have killed each other by the end of itCalifornia here we come “Cut!” “alright” “that’s a wrap on Big Randy, Season 2, Tourist Sauce” Yeah, alright “That’s a wrap on TC, Season 2” I think that’s a wrap “Finally we made it!” “Cheers, crack on!” This turned into like a five hour movie about Scotland “Might be too much work” It might be too much content CUT! WE’RE DONE!

2 thoughts on “Tourist Sauce (Scotland Golf): Episode 12, Royal Dornoch”

  1. Average Golfers with Ugly Swings says:

    This is truly a remarkable course. I just got done playing it last week. So glad to see this video because it helps you remember it. Great Video.

  2. Plus2 Golfer says:

    I'm not a very religious person but I hate the mocking of religion.. I enjoy the goodness of the people that truly live in that manner…I live in the Bible belt here in West Virginia and the only places I have encountered other people just as good as my own are others that live their life in the best possible manner and strive every day to be kind… That's true religion, to just be a good person and there's nothing wrong with that

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