Seth’s Favorite Jokes of the Week: Trump at the UN, Impeachment Proceedings
Seth’s Favorite Jokes of the Week: Trump at the UN, Impeachment Proceedings

♪♪ -That’s Woody,
and I’m Seth. These are our favorite
jokes of the week. President Trump today
attended the United Nations Climate Action Summit
in New York — I’m assuming
as a heckler. [ Laughter ] President Trump this morning
denied reports that he withheld military aid
from Ukraine in order to pressure the country
to investigate former vice president Joe Biden
and his family. He denied it, and that’s how
you know he did it — not because
he always lies, because that story is too weird
and confusing to just deny. If someone told you, “Hey,
people are saying you withheld military from Ukraine to force an investigation
into Joe Biden,” you wouldn’t say,
“No, I didn’t.” You’d say,
“Wait. What?” [ Laughter ] New York mayor Bill de Blasio
yesterday voiced support for a new regulation that would
permanently ban people from riding the subway if they’re caught exposing
themselves or masturbating. Said perverts,
“Honestly, at this point, the subway is so unreliable
I would rather — I would rather just
masturbate at home.” [ Cheers and applause ] Following House Speaker
Nancy Pelosi’s announcement of
impeachment proceedings against President Trump,
Trump tweeted this morning that there is, quote,
“No president in the history of our country
who has been treated so badly as I have.” Even more amazing,
he tweeted it from the Abraham Lincoln Room
in the John F. Kennedy Library. [ Laughter ] According to the call transcript
released this morning, President Trump told the
president of Ukraine, quote, “The United States has been
very, very good to Ukraine. I wouldn’t say that it’s
reciprocal, necessarily, because things are happening
that are not good. But the United States has been
very, very good to Ukraine.” Good Lord.
Trump is the worst criminal. He’s like — He’s like a
character from “The Sopranos” who everyone knows is only
gonna last one episode. “Oh, Donny Two Lips?
I wouldn’t get too attached.” ♪♪

49 thoughts on “Seth’s Favorite Jokes of the Week: Trump at the UN, Impeachment Proceedings”

  1. Sabrina L says:

    was i actually first

  2. Kelly Perkins says:

    You were, Sabrina! A close second for me…

  3. Rob Rosenberger says:

    Please stop using the "okay" sign like you did at 00:32 because it's racist

  4. Titan Vanguard says:

    I love how he said “I didn’t do it” during his speech and tried to cover that up really quick. What didn’t he do?

  5. enki 6 says:

    Wait what?! Is the whole Trump presidency summed up.

  6. Ignacio Corre says:

    I’m the 4th comment on here!!!!!

  7. Gurudra - Emotional Health & Peace says:

    The dirtiest and ugliest game in the world is that of the government. The idea to govern people itself is the most inhuman thing possible . A politician's only joy is to govern, enslave people and be in power

  8. New Message says:

    That isn't what the subway is meant for?


  9. TurdleyCorn says:

    Those are some pretty good jokes. They remind me of a joke Oren Moverman told on the set of Rampart.

  10. Andrew C says:

    Can you do a Pixar's Inside out version of what's going on in Trumps head?
    [Edit] On second thought, I should post this on SNL's channel. [/Edit]

  11. A Wee Scots Dog says:

    MAFIA Don – Kissing Putin's Ring
    (With Vlad – "The Vodka Czar")

    Don Trump expects loyalty from made men
    Bigly Capo di Tutti Capi then?
    He knows what he stands for
    It's an uncivil war
    Make America Fight Itself Again

    Don Trump thought that he was a smart boss
    But his rackets they all made a loss
    So he Tweeted a threat
    "I own judges like Brett
    If you squeal, I'll send Betsy De Vos!"

    Then suddenly Twitter fell mute
    As Trump started receiving inPut
    One word from the Godfather
    Had Trump in a lather
    Extorted by Vlad's photo shoot

    Worse still, a man Cohen, with medallion
    Ratted out Don's Mafia battalion
    Then a thought from Judge Pirro
    (Whose IQ was sub-zero)
    "Mikey's bed! Put in … head of a stallion!"

    Then Giuliani got in on the act
    When duly panned, he thought – spin Don! Redact!
    "A tribute Trump may bring
    To Putin bada-bing
    And that is fine, even if it's a fact"

    "Also, now what you must realise"
    Went on Rudy, with tears in his eyes
    "Is when I'm heaven sent
    With my feet in cement
    I fear Saint Peter's fake news and lies"

  12. Yve Bella says:

    ..aaah…donnie2lips..I wouldn't get too attached😂👏👏

  13. Nick Irwin says:

    Im waiting for the "favorite jokes of the week" where they just show a picture pf trump at the end

  14. MK CULTRA says:

    Where’d Woodie go?

  15. kml sikhi says:

    Seth, you and the other late night comedy kings have made this horrible few years a little more bearable. If we couldn't laugh … we'd cry all the time as "babyman" stinks up our national history.

  16. Olmo Barragán says:

    Well that is the consequence of a complicit party the GOP: Dotard Rump was encouraged by the GOP to keep breaking the law of the land. So there you have another felony. Dotard Rump is the spoiled child that without discipline kept scaling a deviant behavior. Now the USA democracy is really in peril and at stake.
    If the GOP upholds Dotard Rump: there you will have the first American Dictatorship. The stakes are really high, but most Americans aren’t grasping the severity of the times most have very low IQs to understand what is in depth going on.

  17. Suzette Figgs says:

    Oh, the irony of being treated the worst president . 😵😵🤔

  18. Sonja Voigt says:

    Hate each other! Great message from the President of US! Trump turns a democracy into a Trump autocracy!

  19. Laura V says:

    Where is the vagina museum joke? :O laughed so much, show's best joke ever!

  20. Bad at Gaming says:

    fucken donny two lips bahahah

  21. Wolf Jumper says:

    Your calling the New LEADER of Urkrain a LIER !!!
    WikiLeaks Mikhail Khodorkousky a CRINMAL Russian !!!
    An X Leader of Urkrain !!! They ALL work with Clinton Bush Obama Biden Kerry
    STEAL Oil from Many Country's !!! Since the 90's !!!

  22. Marc Kloosterman says:

    I (European) didn't get the Lincoln/Kennedy joke.

  23. S J says:

    I didn't know I needed to hear Seth saying good lord that way 1:42…

  24. Pablo Perez says:

    I liked the vid, but wtf with the click bait?😒😒😒

  25. Michael Brown says:

    It seems that there will be a need for more evidence against the crooked orange clown. There is still 45% of Americans regarding him as the victim of a deep state conspiracy.

  26. RIXRADvidz says:

    after throwing Pence under the bus, will he roll on Putin? Trump is going to need Protective Custody if he wants to stay alive after November2020 VLAD1 rasPUTIN isn't going to stand by if Trump dumps on him, he'll hire a Saudi Assassin to do it, and the Chinese will sell the commemorative mugs and plates. MAGA hats will be like NAZI and Confederate memorabilia

  27. charles hetrick says:

    Why isn’t the biggest joke of the week how New York City is working to dissolve free speech?

  28. Kathryn Foster-martin says:

    Trumps mafia name should be donny butt lips

  29. MoJo says:

    trump….. "no President has been treated so badly as I have"

    Kennedy, Lincoln, McKinley, Garfield….."STFU!!!!!"

    Theodore Roosevelt was shot during a campaign.

  30. John Woodard says:

    So your entire program revolves around bashing one person for years, ya go masturbate at home , ya worthless fucking desease, bottom feeder

  31. Benmore Peak says:

  32. Team Fear says:

    Seth’s favorite joke is whatever his writers prepared for him lmao

  33. Team Fear says:

    That Donny Tulips bit was actually pretty funny lol

  34. Erik Bakstad says:

    Where's Woody???

  35. GREY Wolf says:

    Mango Mussolini is only happy when he's golfing at mar a lago, or when he's lying to his loyal supporters at rallies.

  36. Mike White says:

    FUNNIEST JOKE I've heard all year: Trump attended the CLIMATE CHANGE CONFERENCE at the UN we suppose as a HECKLER!

  37. whyu Madtho says:

    Donald duck has 3 different personalities… unfortunately they are all the same. Hope they send him to prison on an island and I hope his idiot people follow him hahaha

  38. NotMy RealName says:

    1:07 the Lincoln/JFK quip I have laughed at multiple times !!

  39. jonzjamaica says:

    Donnie "Tangerino" Trump

  40. Sean Bhatti says:

    When will Seth be on Brooklyn nine-nine?

  41. Wex Pyke says:

    I am way ti fucking busy to support assholes who love trump and hate biden, like snl

  42. newman447 says:

    Sad mate. Really sad.

  43. xSIVELx says:

    iPhones are for kids and simpletons who don't understand technology. Trump owns an iPhone.

  44. ronny raygunz says:

    Hey, did you guys know seth dressed up like a little newborn chick and danced around for trump?

  45. Xtoriez Novel says:

    Now that we live in a time where we have everything we need, and everything we want, who do you think complains more, Democrats or Liberals?

  46. TFG Entertainment says:

    If the president was smart which he's not, but if he was he'd take his magic sharpie and draw a wall between Mexico and The United States

  47. Kcbg says:

    Democrats are crass people, they physically attack others for just participating in a democratic process. Those that don't are verbally abusive, like Seth Meyers. So all this hate continues to fester, I'm glad he became a father, he may see that sowing hate is not the way to raise a child. The entire whistleblowing incident where the form was altered to remove the bolded words, MUST BE FIRSTHAND ACCOUNT was quietly removed in August 2019, just so this idiot whistleblower could make his 'complaint'! Not only are Democrats ridiculous, they are cheats.

  48. Mark W says:

    Officer Lost Control Over A Hot Dog And Assaults EMT

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