Rage Quit – Rockstar Table Tennis | Rooster Teeth
Rage Quit – Rockstar Table Tennis | Rooster Teeth

*Achievement Hunter and Rage Quit intro* Table Tennis? You’re here to whack some balls? Who wants me to whack their balls? I’ll whack the shit out of them! Look at these fucking guys. There is a fierce competition going on, oh- Oh just- Fucking overhead view there. There is a crowd of literally DOZENS of people watching this battle rage on! Now just starting this, we have the option of choosing white guy, Asian guy, white chick, or super-white dude. And I think we all know, we’re gonna go with the super whitey here. Just look at how high he wears his shorts. It’s phenomenal. Look at that fucking stance! How can you go wrong with Jesper? The guy’s name is Jesper and he’s got a stance that just says, “I’m ready for anything.” Now since I already have Jesper, which puts me on an insane advantage, I’m just gonna go ahead and pick “Random”, because there’s really nothing they can do to stop me at this point. All right, so we have the battle of the fucking clones here, Jesper versus Jesper. Just kidding, it’s his evil twin brother, thought to be killed in the Himalaya Mountains twelve years ago. I- all right. What am I doing? Hi. Oh, never mind, I guess I’m hitting the ball. How do I- what the fuck did I just do? Holy shit! All right, good start. This is like Legend of Zelda. I’m like facing Shadow Jesper in a fierce match of table tennis. That was.. impressive. Here we go. Ok, for turn, this looks bad for me- No, got it. Fuck. Game: Service Jesper. Michael: Oh, it’s “serve Jesper”. THAT DOESN’T TELL ME ANYTHING! Stop going to the right, you dipshit. GODDAMN it, Jesper! Are you serious? “Oh, moving around can be beneficial, but moving around can also suck shit.” Thanks for the fucking tip! Game: Sweden to serve. Michael: “Sweden to serve” We’re both from fucking Sweden! We’re both named Jesper! Who the fuck you talking about?! Here we go. Here we go. (2x) Nothing but power! No- How do I hit the- really? Ok, now he’s hitting the ball I guess. It’s the other side of Sweden. It’s like North Sweden versus South Sweeden. Game: 7-1 1-7 Michael: “7-1 1-7” *stuttering* Like, he gotta say it twice? I know what the score is! You don’t gotta rub it in, you piece of shit! *Grunts* There we go! That was the best- fucking shit. FUCKING CHRIST, JESPER! I’m- this is like fucking Twins! Like he’s Arnold Schwarzenegger and I’m Danny DeVito, I got all the fucking goo! That’s gonna fucking wreck me. No- Oh. Oh! Amazing save and then an amazing whiff by Jesper! And ALSO, AN AMAZING point by Jesper! You’re gonna fucking miss- HOLY SHIT, he made it! That was incredible! Don’t go out! Don’t go out! (2x) OH, YOU HIT THE NET, JESPER! YOU HIT THE FUCKING NET! YA DONE GOOFED, SON!! “Game point” So I just need to get like what? Like fucking nine in a row to win? Easy peasy lemon I’m fucking screwed. Fuck. Fuck. (2x) Fuck. Fuck. (4x) Fuck. (5x) Fuck. (6x) Goddamn it! All right, so Round One, Jesper wins. And also Round One, Jesper loses. Game Two: Sweden versus Sweden This is for supremacy right here. Fucking shit. I fucking hit him in the face! Does that count? Yeah it does! Eat it, bitch! I’m hitting balls in your fucking mouth, get used to it, ’cause after the game, I’m gonna teabag you! You’re gonna lose all your fucking sponsorship’s, you stupid yellow shirt wearing piece of shit! First fucking swing?! The first fucking swing you whiff?! Hit the goddamn thing! He’s got no fucking depth perception! Look at this. I’m just fucking show bo and I don’t give a fuck. “Oh, where am I gonna go? Where am I gonna go? I’m too fast for you! My feet are too quick! I’m over here! and then-” Oh, then I fucking missed. Shit. Can I like aim to hit him in the fucking eyeball? So then he misses the next shot, and then when he’s down I’m gonna fucking kick him in the GODDAMN GROIN?! You fuck! You MOTHERFUCKER!! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I don’t know- I have no idea what the fucking significance of the ball color is, but it’s like, “Oh, it’s green and now it’s fucking red! And then he hit it and it’s fucking red again and I hit it’s blue. And then he hit it back and it’s fucking green and I hit it it’s red. And he’s gonna hit the FUCKING BALL AND THEN HE FUCKING HIT IT’S OUT LIKE A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!! Fuck me. Fucking- *Jersey Shore voice* Oh! Uh! Do the fucking fist pump! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Fist pump! Fist pump! You know what I’m saying, Snooks? You wanna feel my abs? *normal voice* Oh, I’m so fucking screwed. Why is he so much stronger? We’re fucking twins! Our DNA is the same! We’re the same biologically! We have all the same fucking chromosomes and everything! Why is he such a goddamn juggernaut? I’m like a fucking useless pile of goo that just sits here and frails my arm like a fat, fucking flabby, piece of shit! Oh, I guess that’s it! I guess I fucking lost! Well, SHIT! Go fuck yourself, Jesper! *Achievement Hunter outro*

100 thoughts on “Rage Quit – Rockstar Table Tennis | Rooster Teeth”

  1. Lucas MH says:

    I really hope this is a troll

  2. dico says:

    totally, delete 4,726 vids… dumbass

  3. Nate A says:

    If only there was a disclaimer to completely fuck your comment up…

    OH WAIT!!!

  4. Ethan says:

    You do realize you are talking to a company? If you don't know what that is Company = Someone better then a dad who goes to Meet n' Fuck sites, AKA You. So, could you please stop? I mean, prob no one is going to waste time on you except me, Well, I only did just to annoy you. Thank you, goodbye.

  5. Malvo says:

    Rage quit: Batman arkham origins deathstroke assassin fight.

  6. michaeltawd1 says:

    No feeding the trolls!!

  7. Chomag says:

    I'm gonna die laughing. That's it.

  8. oldschoolcuc says:

    That little scum even don't know what it means, or already know…so where is the problem? Maybe the problem is that you are a bad parent 🙂

  9. Alex Mateyy says:

    3:39 i fuckin lost it oh my god

  10. morg curt says:

    shut up bitch

  11. xAvispar says:

    Jesper is a fucking giant holy shit

  12. Piggy Potter says:

    So…How Did That Work Out For You?

  13. Wisp Assist says:

    fuck u why u letting her even go on youtube

  14. SpiffyGonzales says:

    lol, horrible troll.

  15. Brandon Donovan says:

    ooh oioo ohh fist pump

  16. Beneniah says:

    You… Are just dumb..

  17. SleepyPandaProductions says:

    Eat food they said. It would be ok they said.

  18. benjamin townsend says:

    NOTE TO SELF!!! when jennifer cums on my face to dont yell"AGHGGHGGGG MAN BEEHHOOOBISZZ

  19. Joccoaa Ellice says:



  20. Nicolas Flores says:

    I almost peed myself at 3:22 

  21. Slowbro202 says:

    hahahahaha i can't breathe

  22. Droledian Türkiye says:

    AHahhahahah ! 😀 😀  awesome…. 

  23. Max Beast says:

    Jesper vs Jesper.Serve Jesper.
    Jesper won and Jesper lost.

  24. Kaijuhub says:

    Jesper vs Metal Jesper
    Jesper vs Giant Jesper
    Jesper vs Polygon Jesper

  25. psychoticBreak says:

    When you hear a moment of silence, you KNOW Michael is going to scream or say something witty.

  26. Twiste DRaven says:


  27. Claudia Santillana says:

    Oh fuck hahahha

  28. Takoda Rowback says:

    "You know what I'm sayin' Snooks?" xD

  29. King Geeno says:

    "Go fuck your self Jesper!!!"

  30. Edward Swann says:

    I liked the part when Jesper won

  31. CZK Valckerrie says:

    how does michael manage to make a game of ping pong funny?

  32. KobeBryantFan81024 says:

    Jesper looks like Ryan haha

  33. John Maies says:

    like i know what the score is you don't have to rub it in you piece of shit. XD

  34. Ashfia M says:

    i just realized my dad was hearing everything micheal was saying…..
    my earbuds wasnt in correctly… fuck.. im in trouble 

  35. GEDPremo❶ says:

    haha michel i beat the game

  36. Dakota Clarke says:

    why do people argue

  37. Dakota Clarke says:


  38. Margaret Mercedes says:

    You need to to relax by playing the most gsy ist game

  39. Tyler Reid says:

    I've watched every rage quit and they never get old

  40. Sane Alfa says:

    I feel ashamed of my country now :—)

  41. Meep Moop says:

    Jesper master race.

  42. Emma Uola says:

    He got all the goo 🙁

  43. Kingdifter14 says:

    2:20 – 2:23 LOL!

  44. Luke Taylor says:

    I hit him in the face does that count? HAH

  45. Sam Davis says:

    "You done goofed son" lol

  46. delboyengland says:

    I won tournament on medium with liu ping jesper took me two games to  beat now im playing on hard with jesper and I been stuck on liu ping for over a fucking  hour and I am screaming at the tv really pissing me of jesper is so fucking slow.Any one up for a game Lorddelboy  add me 🙂 The Rage is strong in this one

  47. Michael Ruiz says:


  48. Robert M says:

    lol omg, I cried "He has a stance that says I'm ready for anything"

  49. William Divine says:

    Solid Jesper and Liquid Jesper.

  50. Victoria Querido says:

    hits the net

  51. Alphafax of the Sås says:

    It feels so weird watching this, my name is Jesper.

  52. MykeTheArtista says:

    He reminds me of Ryan :3

  53. Andrew LaRue says:

    Future reference.. the different colors are different spins on the ball. Green is topspin, blue and red are side spins and yellow is back spin. you're welcome:)

  54. vince j says:

    spoiler: Jesper wins

  55. Ulquiorragurl26 says:

    "There is a crowd of literally DOZENS of people watching this battle rage on…"

    I didn't realize a WNBA game even existed!

  56. Nick Richards says:

    I died at the fist bump part hahahahaha

  57. Roadblock says:

    Jesper: Seven foot tall table tennis champion who likes to practice his goose stepping in his free time. 

  58. G4merGir1 says:

    0:09 i vote Gavin :3

  59. jaxon america says:

    In the first round jasper wins and he doesn't

    Scrhodinger confirmed

  60. Hold My Beans says:

    I've had this game for like 6-7 years and I've only played it twice lol

  61. The Angry Audino says:

    Am I the only one who, immediately after seeing the other Jesper, thought to myself, "I am Repsej, evil twin of Jesper! evil laugh"?

  62. Dara Amor says:

    Eventually he gets so mad he starts to sound like cartmen😄

  63. Wesley K says:

    Very fucking funny. People who disagree got no humor. 

  64. Daniel Stephen Hanks says:


  65. Raul Torres says:

    You are more strange than a Rockstar game made for kids.

  66. Matt Adams says:


  67. Dreigonix says:

    "Have your grandma pull the car around."

  68. Javan Finnigan says:

    3:12 thru 3:18 i tried to hold back my laughter and spit all over my computer trying to laugh quietly.

  69. LMKemp says:

    Cant believe R* made this.

  70. Katie Kent says:

    When my brother got arrested I convinced my mom to yell the "Ya dun goofed son!" when he called.

  71. Racher50 says:

    Did u know that this game was to test GTAVs physics engine

  72. thesameplace channel says:

    there is nothing the game can do since i am at an insane advantage so we are going to have a random opponent to go against…. has the same person go up against the same person LOL!!!

  73. Ally belle 023 says:

    i love Michael. getting aggravated over a computer game. god bless

  74. Lauren Vanderploeg says:

    Jesper: Who are you?
    Jesper: I'm you but stronger.

  75. AK says:

    Jesper is pronounced with a Y sound.

  76. Justin Brown says:

    I strive everyday to become like Michael

  77. Indie Gamer says:

    "Now since I already have Jesper which puts me at an already insane advantage let's just pick random"
    Jesper Vs Jesper
    Battle of the Century

  78. Indie Gamer says:

    At 0:46 it's Jesper in the random

  79. Stalkingwolf says:

    i smashed one of my controller because of this game. Allstar Luc was pain in the ass.

  80. Iron Balls says:


  81. Dig Bicks says:

    Who else bought this game for 99p, played it for 5 minutes and then never touched it again

  82. Jono Zygorodimos says:

    Whack my testicles

  83. Luxe says:

    Does anyone else think that the Jesper twins look like Robin Williams?

  84. hamza ahmed says:

    amazing commentary man XD

  85. ꜱᴛᴇᴀᴍɪɴ' ʜᴏᴛ ɢᴀʀʙᴀɢᴇ says:


  86. Jacob Harris says:

    Rage Quit was always cringy. Michael always forced his rage, and I suppose kids like it but adults hate it but kids are their main audience so I just realized that this comment is useless

  87. M4part2 says:

    f*cking jesper was overpowered… i hated when people chose him

  88. M00rtin says:

    is he serious with this comment gameplay? he dosent seem to understand the sport.

  89. Heartbeat says:

    Can you whack my balls?

  90. J Doss says:

    I dare you to not laugh when he does the Jersey Shore impression. Ha, you lose.

  91. Ken Redwin says:

    What a deep lore.

  92. Micah & Rusty Plus says:

    Jesper looks kinda like Jasper from Camp Camp…

  93. Prywatny Człowiek says:

    Czy dobrze słyszałem że ten tytuł wyszedł na Nintendo Wii?

  94. CreativeJustice says:

    Who’s here after game changers film

  95. Nellie Nunya-Bidness says:

    Time for sleep and it's raining. I could listen to the sweet, soothing sound of the rain gently pattering the roof overhead, or I could listen to Michael rage on… Michael it is!

  96. Aceix says:

    Is this the prequel to "Dodge These Balls"

  97. Naiad says:

    Wait how many times have I watched this, was that a Cursed Mountain reference??

  98. FL TITAN says:

    Why is someone FROM New Jersey mimicking the characters from Jersey Shore in that manner? Isn't that a knock at your people? Not that I really care, lolz, I found it amusing either way.

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