My Friend Irma: Irma’s Inheritance / Dinner Date / Manhattan Magazine


Jane Jane what is it Anna Oh Jean why do people think I ought to be a novelist a novelist well I don’t know honey what makes you say that well every time I talk to them they say Irma Peterson you’re one for the books well that’s what you can expect when you listen to my friend Irma friendship worship just perfect plan ship when other friendships event become theirs wealthy liebherr brother’s company makers of Swan the soap with the exclusive super creams blend presents our friend Swan with my friend Irma starring Marie Wilson is Irma and Kathy Lewis is Jane the other day I was talking to an eminent psychologist and he was telling me about a thesis he was writing entitled the human mind and where it’s going then he met my roommate Irma Peterson and he changed the title to the human mind and where it got lost well it affects different people strangely but me Jane Stacy I loved her in fact I can’t wait for the day to be over and the door to open and have Earl Peterson come into the room saying Oh Jane and I’m so disgusted with everything I hate my job and the way my boss mr. Clyde treats me why honey what happened today oh it’s all his fault yells and he gets me so confused you confused yes he asked me to put some ice water in the pitcher on his desk and then he asked me to fill his fountain pen with ink think I got mixed up what happened honey he was blue all day well honey don’t bring your work in your troubles home with you just relax here here’s part of the paper here’s the comics I don’t feel like the comics Jane haven’t you got something like to read I mean you know really you have lots to be thankful for no Jane a future holds nothing for me I can look at my mind and see there’s nothing there say Alma listen to the story in the newspaper what to say Jane it says eccentric farmer leaves $50,000 to unknown nice Henri Peterson a farmer in Minnesota was found dead at his bedside was a note leaving his estate appraised at $50,000 to a niece named Irma investigators are seeking the whereabouts of the heiress um does that sound like one of your relatives gee I don’t know Jana none of my uncle’s was eccentric of course there was my uncle Peter he was kicked in the head by a new but he wasn’t eccentric because he didn’t shoot the moon mule he bought it bedroom slippers full Mederma honey didn’t did you ever have an uncle named Henry Henry who was a farmer I think so he raised corn but he got in trouble over distribution distribution yes he wouldn’t sell it by the bushel just by the bottle how that sounds like a relative of yours you know ARMA I’ve got a funny hunch that you’re liable to be the heiress I’ll get it honey Oh whoo mr. silk of the law firm of Lerner Darrell and Matt yes you want to talk to miss Peterson oh you’re investigating all Emma Peterson’s yes yes she’s my roommate you’d like to come out and interviewer in regards to the estate of the late Henry Peterson yes I just read about it you come right out but killing to take a cab Jane I’ll pay for it yes yes it’s 82 24 West 73rd Street apartment 3b we’ll be waiting for you bye Norma firm I’ve got a terrible feeling that you’re going to get $50,000 I’m so happy for you how’s everybody describe because when you cry I cry honey I’m so happy I have to cry well let’s both cry Jane because now we can afford all the Kleenex in the world it’s only me professor Kropotkin what’s the matter you’re crying my poor animal what is it I just inherited $50,000 Wow that’s right her Uncle Henry died $50,000 congratulations miss Peterson Peterson you always called me your MA naturally yesterday you were a poor working girl everybody felt sorry for but today you’re a millionaire but professor money won’t change me I’m what I am and nothing can be done about it my darling little pigeon you mean now that you’re rich you’ll still talk to a poor man like ricotta cheese why not the rich and poor can live together after all the Rockefellers talk to the Joneses that’s only because the Rockefellers own the phone company and every time the Joneses talk the Rockefellers get the nickel let’s pay for the a Lapierre my darling you are lucky and you have our blessing of course we’re not sure that urn is getting the money professor but she seems to fit the general description of the family yeah and a mr. silk from the lawyer’s office is coming over to check on me my little Elmer rich girl over the life of luxury you’ll lead with money like that you’ll have a Parisian chateau oh no I look ridiculous in those French hats come in hello girls hello professor hello mrs. O’Reilly girls could I trouble you for a little brown shoe polish I left my eyelashes on the windowsill and the Sun bleached one of them oh sure mr. Riley tell me why is everyone looking so happy I just inherited fifty thousand dollars Burma you’ve been in the Sun too long – no it’s true mrs. O’Reilly we have an heiress in our midst glory be well Irma now that you’re such a lady I suppose you’d be expecting me to improve your quarters what do you mean improve let me tell you mrs. O’Reilly you would have to have this building painted blasted and completely renovated before you could get it condemned oh hush with you just because your rooms a mess well maybe if you paid your rent it wouldn’t be don’t worry you’ll get your rent I’m raising the money I’m charging visitors ten cents to look at my room now you don’t have to go to Europe to see the ruins of Pompeii hush up now because anybody’s roommates fixed it’s Irma that easy Burma will still prefer our humble company of course I will my money isn’t going to change me I’m a poor simple girl fifty thousand dollars by Horace poor mmm all right I may not be poor but I’m as simple as I always was gosh I can’t mingle with a richer I’m not the kind of a person who likes to ride on foxes and go out with hounds Irma I know nothing will ever change you honey I’ll always remember the sweet little girl who put my best evening gown in the stove when I asked her to base the ham gee Jane we’ve had such wonderful times together yeah I remember the time we went to the zoo and you offered to pay for an operation on the camel because you thought it was a horse with a crooked spy oh yes mine has been a rich full life well now that I see the turma still the same sweet charming girl as ever I have news too you’re all invited down to my place this evening for a little birthday party oh it’s my birthday Oh congratulations mrs. O’Reilly I’d love to come how old are you about 41 41 that’s right mr. O’Reilly is 41 but that’s just around one ankle Oh push with your professor well I’ll be seeing y’all later come along professor I better go along with her and make sure she doesn’t bake a cake or we’ll all be dead by dog Oh Jane isn’t this a wonderful day I can’t wait to tell all about my inheritance how do you think he’ll take it Jane when our finds out that you’ve inherited $50,000 you won’t be able to pry him loose with a blowtorch oh maybe that’s how he’ll now come in how do you do my name is William silk I’m the investigator which one of you is miss Peterson I am uh miss Peterson did you by any chance have an uncle Henry Henry yes you know your uncle Henry the one we were reading about oh yes he was married to one of my ass have you heard from your Uncle Henry recently no but I saw about eight years ago we spoke for about an hour but I couldn’t understand him why not he’d fallen down the well well mr. Peterson this is a preliminary investigation it’s narrowed down to three people you and two other young ladies from Minnesota I must say that since talking to you you sound like the most logical errors of the deceased Henry Peterson come in oh hello honey hi chicken Oh Jane oh well well miss Peterson there’s nothing more to be done at this time you’ll hear from us good luck to you I’d like to ask you a few more questions mr. silk I’ll see you in the front door what’s up chicken eh I’ve got some wonderful news again chicken before you start I got some wonderful news too I’m just finishing a great new deal painting tuxedos on Dougs and selling them for penguins you won’t have to worry about any more your deals out honey I I just inherited $50,000 chicken I told you you shouldn’t eat before you go to sleep my Uncle Henry just died and that was a lawyer that was just here 50 G’s what a lump of dough why the total rewards out for my friends don’t equal that oh now that I have money we can get married can’t we Matt on the contrary check we’re through through certainly miss Peterson miss Peterson I’m not miss Peterson I want to be mrs. al listen chicken what kind of a guy would I be marrying a dame for our money I realized that I don’t have a job or any money in the bank or any immediate future but at least I’m a self-made man I still love you well I love you too chicken but it wouldn’t work out money would change our point of view we get married you’d want to send the kids to have it I’d want to send them to Macy’s let him work like the old man did no chicken it’s no use we’re on different sides of the track you’ll get in with that fast crowd that lives on roulette baccarat chocolate ever you like these chicken let us not hurt each other any longer it’s one thing when people say look at that Bobby’s wife works but it hurts when they say look at that bum e’s wife support so long chicken no I don’t want anything I want you I’m satisfied with nothing sorry chicken I’m not the gigolo type so I think I’ll blow as the French say hey Dottie come back you know ladies you can tell Swan differs from other soaps just by feeling a cake of Swan it feels smoother as Suzy Swan says it’s a smoothie it’s a smoothie it’s a cake of Swan you can feel the super cream blend you can feel a difference in it you can tell it in a minute it’s a smoothie that’s why yes ladies next time you unwrap a cake of Swan run your fingers over it feel how it differs from other soaps feel the extra smoothness of the cake itself now that’s a direct result of swans exclusive super creamed blend and when you use Swan for dishes peel the creamier suds swans mild suds protect your hands after you’re through look at your hands you’ll see they’re left with a wonderful smooth young look Swan super cream suds are rich thick suds to the kind of suds that get dishes washed past that rinse away so completely your dishes don’t need wiping yes Swan soap means faster dishwashing and protection for your hands thanks to swans exclusive super cream blend well Erma is certain she will never see al again and she’s putting on a scene that would make Napoleon’s death seem like a picnic she stretched out on the sofa just sobbing her poor heart out she has Al’s picture in her hand he’s in a sailor suit Noel was never in the Navy he borrowed the suit because he heard of a dance where servicemen were admitted free now she’s kissing the picture and crying drinking water she’s been doing this all afternoon honey what’s the idea of drinking so much water well I expect to cry all night and I don’t want to run out of Tears sweetie this is no time for tears what you should rejoice Irma you’re on the verge of inheriting $50,000 you should be happy no Jenna I’ll never be happy without oh oh no sweetie don’t be so dramatic mistakes with your money you’ll meet other man not like Al it was so sweet they taught me so many things tonight we’d sit on a park bench and he point out all the stars for me the North Star the little diaper big diaper irma unless someone hung their wash very high the word is Dipper honey I’ve told you repeatedly honest other men will bring you happiness I don’t want happiness oh no the poor kid item come in hello Jane Oh am i early for mrs. O’Reilly’s party oh gee Richard I’m so glad to see you erm is in the bedroom just crying her eyes out I don’t know what to do what’s happened but it looks like Irma has inherited $50,000 from an Uncle Henry and Al has walked out on her he feels that the money will come between them al walking out on money yeah the same al who stands in front of a vending machine for hours hoping someone’s nickel will get stuck that’s the story Richard he’s in the bedroom crying her eyes out there’s only one thing we can do get Albert exactly and I have an idea what to tell him well where can you get in touch with him oh yeah well let’s see this is the night he usually brings her flowers since he’s not dating her tonight there’s no sense in trying to reach him at the funeral parlor ah now let’s see where else would come in Oh oli was just trying to get in touch with you just drop by to return chickens picture every time I read what she wrote on it it it torches me more than I can stand let me see the picture dear al I love you oh so madly with all my soul and flesh I dream of when you’ll marry me and carry me across the threshold after Thresh but I had no room and didn’t want to ride on my head because it just had my hair done guess who Dame writes like a sonnet hate to give her up oh oh you don’t have to give her up the inheritance doesn’t have to come between you she’ll need help now and you can help her me sure she’ll need a business manager and you’re the man for the job hey that sounds good then no one can say I’m marrying up for the dome oh yeah sure now we know that you want to be alone with Irma so Richard now just go on down mrs. O’Reilly’s party come on Richard I’m with you Jana chicken chicken it’s me yeah come on I want to talk to you chicken Oh baby me oh oh you’re bad uh-huh we can get married gonna be your business manager go to invest your money Wow there’s only one man who can tell us well who else but hello Joe ah got a problem Irma’s got 50 G’s and we want to know what to do with uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh mm-hmm lay low until everything cools off no no Joe this money ain’t hottest legitimate if it’s legitimate you’re not interested okay Joe song chicken I got an idea when you get your inheritance we put it in government bonds all that five hundred dollars what’s that for I’ll show you take me to mr. O’Reilly’s party my um chicken and everything and all together that’s the way it should be oh please please everybody let me speak go ahead Armour darlin ah I’ve decided that money isn’t everything what is important is friends you can’t take it with you I’d rather take my friends with me when I go you know what I mean we know what you mean and we love you for it I want you to all share my good fortune so after the party I want everybody to buy themselves a gift you know something you wouldn’t spend your own money for oh honey you don’t have this just to show you what you all mean to me well if you insist mr. Ali you’re the first it’s your birthday what do you want to buy well frankly I’ve always wanted to but I know there isn’t enough money and nobody is that strong horshack professor so I think I’ll just buy a little makeup kit you have no idea how long it takes me to get me face to look the way it does I just thought you put it in the Mixmaster for 500 all right now what do you want to buy me well Emma darling you know I’m playing the fiddle at the Gypsy Tea Room and nothing would make me happier than to have a larger case for my violin are you getting a larger violin no no I can’t stand the food there and I want to smuggle in my lunch now how about you well chicken since you insist I’d like to buy one of them big canes with a folding seat on top you know that gadget sportsman sit on when they watch the races but out you don’t go to the races I know but my feet kill me when I’m waiting for that unemployment check say that gives me an idea see you later goodbye alright Jane it’s your turn oh honey I don’t want any fluid system well alright sweetie I’ll pick out something for the apartment huh good and all charge it to my account at Gimbels I am on behalf of all of us we want to thank you but most of all your Uncle Henry who made this possible oh you’re all welcome and I’m sure if Uncle Henry knew he was dying for such wonderful people he gladly do it over again well we’ve all done our shopping and you’ve never seen such a happy gang mrs. O’Reilly has purchased the most extensive makeup kit everything from lipstick to mud pack when the professor saw her face he said put it back in the mud again Alan the professor got exactly what they wanted and as for me I I bought a small Persian rug Armand thinks it’s very impractical because she says we very seldom entertain Persians but she’s happy beyond words even though her account at Gimbels has $500 against it Jane yeah honey he’ll never know how wonderful I feel I helped all my friends and and Al has a job working for me yeah you know honey or what you call a philanthropist how could you say that Jane I was born in Minnesota all right come in oh it’s mr. silk again from that lawyer’s office mr. Peterson I’m afraid I have bad news for you bad yes you’re not the Irma Peterson we were looking for what no the armorer Peterson who is the real heiress is a waitress in Milwaukee we’ve checked your records you never had an uncle named Henry good day oh ma Peterson how could you make such a mistake don’t you realize we now have $500 in bills we have to pay well I didn’t know well whatever made you think you had an Uncle Henry well I had an aunt named Henrietta and I thought he could be your husband oh honey and we’ve spent over $500 come in hello kids chicken got some news for you al I have some news for you too okay chicken ladies first what’s your news I’m poor again I didn’t inherit the money what al what’s wrong your wife chicken I just came from the unemployment office told him I had a job as your business manager so they took me off the list Oh what does that mean chicken I’m a total fail I’m the only guy who’s unemployed at being unemployed the other day Irma put her coat and hat on and started out the door with a cake of Swan in her hand so I said honey where are you going with our Swan and Irma said well gee Jane spring is here so I’m taking our Swan up to the pond at Central Park to play with the other swans well Jane you know Erma has her serious moments about swans hope to like when she washes dishes why she says Swan is perfect for dishes and you know lady it’s true why even the way a cake of Swan feels tells you it’s a perfect dishwashing soap sure next time you unwrap a cake of Swan just feel the cake with your fingertips feel how Swan super creamed blend makes it differ from other soaps it feels smoother then feel those mild Swan suds they feel richer creamier then you’ll know why super creamed plan protects your hands yes thanks to Swan super cream blend your hands are left with a smooth soft young look and what’s more those Swan suds rinse away so completely your dishes don’t need wiping a real time-saver yes it’s worth looking into lady because if you want a soap that protect your hands a soap that’ll get you out of the kitchen in a hurry you want the soap with the exclusive super cream blend swans Oh well thanks to Irma’s imaginary inheritance we have an extra mouth to feed al shows up promptly morning noon and night for his meals as for the $500 on her Miss Charge account well everyone’s been nice enough to return their gifts and erm oh well she just won’t forget what happened honey oh yes Jane honey have you seen my gold locket you know the one I inherited from my grandmother oh I gave it away Jane I don’t want you to get in the same trouble I did you know if I ever wanted to give anything away it’ll be my friend Erma my friend Burma presented by Swan another fine product of Lee brothers company was produced and directed by sy Howard tonight script was written by sy Howard and park levy folks next Monday evening listen again to our friend Swan with my friend Irma starring Marie Wilson is Irma and Kathy Lewis is Jane the part of Professor Kropotkin was played by Hans Connery ladies listen the shortage of fats and oils is still very serious and its worldwide so please keep on saving every drop of used kitchen pan your butcher will pay you for every pound Franklin speaking yes there’s a reason why spry makes graham cakes spry has an amazing cake improver secret try the spry one bowl way and be sure of lighter finer richer cakes every time no other type of shortening has surprise cake improver for new cake making success trys fly the pure all vegetable shortening reliance 5s beyond reliance you tune in next week one hour earlier and listen to the lux radio theater immediately followed by my friend Irma this is CBS where 99 million people gather every week the Columbia Broadcasting System irma honey yes Jane this magazine says that scientists in Arizona have just found the footprints of a prehistoric animal 2 million years old what do you think of that well I think they’re silly if they try to track it down I’m sure it’s dead well that’s what you can expect when you listen to my friend Irma friendship friendship just perfect friendship when other friendships been polka bears will still be ha leave a brother’s company makers have Swan the soap with the exclusive super creamed plan presents our friend Swan with my friend Irma starring Marie Wilson is Irma and Kathy Lewis is Jane you know tonight is a very important night for me I’m anxious to be bright and gay and I want to look my best the reason I met a new fellow I really kind of liked him so I decided to discuss it with my roommate Irma Irma yes Jane I know this may shock you honey but I have a date tonight and it’s not with Richard not with Richard Oh Jen you’re going to get a reputation for being Footloose of course if you are go round with loose feet Oh Irma stop being a Puritan this is 1948 how long can a girl wait for a man I’m getting older so what you know what they say Jane wine improves with age I know if you wait long enough it can turn into vinegar personally I think rich is just wonderful but it doesn’t seem to be getting any more serious the sound of those wedding bells seems to be growing fainter well that’s one problem I haven’t got Jane I hear bells in my head all the time Jana who’s your new fellow Oh his name’s Peter Guilford irma he is nothing short of sensational oh just like my Ali’s is sensational nothing – you can say that again but I wish you wouldn’t because the subject bores me Oh Jane what is your new fellow Peter Guildford do well I don’t know too much about him honey because I just met him but I know he has an important job with a government he he mentioned something about being in charge of financial distribution well Jane even though you met another fella I still think you love Richard now tell me the truth well I don’t really know sweetie sometimes I’m not sure that I was ever truly in love with Richard well that’s where Al and I are different we know we’re in love otherwise why would I get all confused and dizzy well honey the answer to a question like that has many ramifications anyway I just can’t wait until my date tonight with Peter Guildford you know I’m really excited about him come in it’s only me professor cravat hello Jaime and Elmer my two little Cristal gazers one with all the answers the other still in a trance excuse me for intruding girls I just came down to tell you the good news I made up with mrs. O’Reilly Oh wonderful professor that’s what we like to hear how long could I stay mad at a woman who has such a wonderful heart imagine last night she baked me a seven-layer cake just what I needed oh that’s nice we’ll make it perfect foot rest well Gina’s a day for romance you and miss O’Reilly and Jane has a new boyfriend Janey is that right what happened with Richard nothing it’s just that Richards been stalling and I’ve decided not to put all my eggs in one basket oh you’re smart Jane when they cost almost a dollar doesn’t you have to be careful being careful is what I want to talk to you about Jim a person in choosing a mate must never be too particular you know I remember when I started courting girls one I didn’t like because she was mean another was jealous another was stingy and other was naggy so gradually I became an expert and I wound up marrying a woman who was a combination of always well Irma’s jumping to conclusions professor I’m not marrying Peter Guildford I’m merely having dinner with him but it’s something to keep in mind Jamie why do you think I’ve gotten romantic thoughts about mrs. O’Reilly I’ll tell you all my life women I’ve known have run around with other fellow but mrs. O’Reilly her I could leave on an island with a boatload of shipwrecked sailors and she wouldn’t get kissed if a mistletoe tree fella and that’s what the man likes peace of mind Oh professor you know that Jane’s new boyfriend Peter Guildford has a very important job with the government oh really Janie what does he do well he told me he was in charge of financial distribution well that already is a big job and Jamie I hope it works out well for you thank you well girls I got to go now since I’m taking mrs. O’Reilly up I think I’ll run down to the corner and buy her a corsage a bunch of salary Oh professor you can’t smell salary I Got News for you you can’t eat daisies either goodbye hello hi chicken hello al honey where are you in the telephone booth down the unemployment office gotta be a little late chicken the guy who gives out the cheque seems to be all thumbs today well he should make you wait after all you’re one of their best customers I know would make a complaint but don’t want him to think I’m trying to take his job away from him why not he might give it to me I own a chicken the light’s not in the mood well see you soon goodbye al our chicken Oh made it boy this gripes me still have to stand in line you think a guy who’s been coming here this long and has seniority that’s the fault of the guy who distributes the checks that Peter Guildford there’s a real bum for you boy I hate him Oh hiya Pete how’s tricks oh it’s you L to look for a job this week and no I couldn’t you see um my grandmother died she died last week she rallied I knew you’d have an answer you always do is your check ah thanks pete see you next weekend that Peter Guildford I hate that bum irma honey we hand me my nail polish I wanna look my best for Peter Guildford tonight all right Jane come in oh hello mrs. O’Reilly oh my you’re all dressed up oh thank you dear the professor and I are going out tonight and I was wondering if you could lend me a pair of dark glasses dark glasses yes the wind blew me eyelashes off the windowsill I wouldn’t want him to see me without them you know the way he kids about me false teeth and the artificial fingernails in the bleach transformation he says if we ever cross the border the customs man will be checking my parts five days after we’ve gone oh he’s a great Kidder it’s me again girls and mrs. O’Reilly oh what a beautiful day it is I was just out taking a wall Oh professor don’t move there are two caterpillars on your shoulder caterpillars glory be those of me eyelashes I should have known you know mrs. O’Reilly if this building ever caught fire and you jumped out of the window the firemen wouldn’t know which part to catch first oh hush professor tell me Janie darlin how’s Richard I see you wearing a new dress going somewhere special with him well before Irma gets a chance to distort the news I’ll tell it to you I’m dating a new beau tonight yes and he’s a very important man who works for the government well you know what’s best for Janie I only hope it’ll bring you happiness after all the most important thing in life is love now take me all right I’ll admit I’m not a spring chicken I’m 39 I’m going out with the professor tonight mrs. O’Reilly you are 39 then let me ask you a question why is it the moment the music starts you automatically go into a minuet that’s the reason I love to go out with you professor I like to go out with you too but to help me I can’t think of a reason well goodbye girls we’ll be running along now goodbye and Jamie have a good time tonight with your new boy for heaven thanks professor Irma you know I want to make a good impression tonight so I think I’ll buy a new hat I won’t be long if Richard calls remember you don’t know where I am all right Jane come in hello Jane hi yeah chicken hi al hello al honey oh the humiliation of that unemployment office I won’t have to put up with that stuff much longer got a deal that’ll put me on easy street yeah I know you’re gonna glue corn silk on old sweaters and sell them for fur jackets no that’s not the deal but like yours better sorry I’ve already patented it with the insane asylum well I’ll be back as soon as I find a hat honey goodbye all disparagement day never going to amount enough oh don’t say that about Jana she has a date for dinner tonight with a new boyfriend Oh she gave Richard the old heave-ho well richard has been strolling you know a girl gets impatient waiting for a man to accept her proposal chicken you ain’t hitting about you and I no al but now that you mention it I think it’s about time we get married I want to have children while I’m young while I still know what more than they do chicken you can’t get married on a shoestring besides I want you to have a nice home beautiful furniture a maiden in a car of your own Oh Alec are my own wrists certainly you think after we’re married I’m gonna let you walk to work I get so tired of waiting for that day no chicken you gotta be patient or one of my deals comes through Oh Alec you could only get a good job like James new boyfriend has we could get married right away yeah what does this guy do oh he’s with the government in charge of financial distribution financial distribution sounds important chicken me meeting a guy like that might change our whole future ah I’m working on a plan no all our dreams will come true oh well I have so much confidence in you and let me give you a big kiss for luck okay chicken hey chicken what’s daddy I’m making those cross eyes when I kissed you well I wanted to see how which side of my nose your nose goes when you kiss me which side neither we meet bumper to bumper I say ladies here’s a way you can prove to yourself that Swan soap actually differs from other soaps Fila cake of Swan it feels smoother as Suzy Swan says it’s a smoothie it’s a smoothie it’s a cake of Swan you can feel that super creamed blend you can feel a difference in it you can tell it in a minute it’s a smoothie that’s one yes ladies the way Swan feels is a direct result of Swan super creamed blend so next time when you unwrap a cake of Swan make this little test run your finger tips over the surface of the cake feel the smoothness see how Swan super creamed bland makes Swan differ from other soaps then when you use Swan for dishes feel Swan suds they feel richer creamier and swans mild suds protect your hands sure when you’re through look at your hands you’ll see they’re left with a smooth soft young look what’s more Swan super cream suds are thick fast suds too and they rinse away so completely your dishes don’t need wiping it’s true Swan soap means faster dishwashing and protection for your hands thanks to swans exclusive super creamed plan well I’ve been shopping for a hat I’ve tried off the face hats on the face hats lo brims hi brims no brims no half just brim however I saw one that I thought was adorable three roses sewed on a ribbon ninety five dollars I wouldn’t spend that much for three roses if I just finished a quarter four roses so I decided to just forget the hats but my personality worked for me tonight hello honey hi Jane did you get a hat no I didn’t honey not that I care but did Richard call no well who cares just as well oh yes why I don’t care were you here all the time yes well if he does call tell him I’m not here all right Jane never mind I’ll tell him hello Oh Jane oh oh it’s you Richard Jane I have good news for you I’m taking you out tonight I’ve got news for you I’ve already got a date oh you have yes uh-huh well that’s nice enjoy yourself I certainly will good night Jane Richard Richard Oh Richard well how do you like that he’s not even angry well Jane do you care of course I don’t care he means nothing to me nothing at all Jane you just tore your handkerchief I like it that way after all two handkerchiefs are better than one ho leave me alone will you oh man our dogs come in hi you’re chicken hello Prince Ani we were just talking about you huh something good I hope because Jane I got something to ask you and I I don’t know exactly how to begin well leave out the words may I borrow and just take it from there haha I don’t need money Jana it is my belief that a guy only gets places through contacts people he meets yeah that’s partially true yeah now when you first introduced me to Richard I thought he could do me some good but through some slip in the conversation he found out I was a bum now Jane you got a new guy and I want him to think well of me I mean you mean in case he can do you some good well contacts are vital Jane now wait a life just met Peter it’s our very first date I haven’t even been out with him yet I know he has an important position with the government but I can’t ask him to waste his time helping out the unemployed but Jane I’m not asking for myself it’s for chicken I want to marry her but first first I want to make a man out of myself well don’t change too much I’m holy chicken look Jane your new guy is with the government they got lots of jobs open there’s there’s diplomatic work there’s reclamation projects I might get a job with the TVA no I don’t want you to fly chicken TVA is a dam I don’t want you to swear either what do you say Jane I’d get down on my knees and beg you but this suit won’t take it what do you say we all go to dinner together well gee al I’d like to help you make new contacts if I could but I can’t impose on a strange man and an important man on our very first date I’m not asking for charity the treats on me will pick up the check to impress this guy part of the scheme Oh al I just can’t do it Gina’s for our children I can’t even do it for your children and believe me I’m crazy about them hello yes this is Jane Stacy oh hello Peter how nice of you to call please Jane I will pay all expenses yeah yeah Peter I hope you don’t mind but I have a rather unusual request to make you see I live with a girl Irma Peterson and her boyfriend is in town and they would like us to be their guests at dinner what’s that you accept now you sure you don’t mind oh that’s fine we’ll meet you here for cocktails yeah the same time wonderful goodbye what do you know he didn’t have jet he even seemed eager hey you see the rich like a handout – don’t be ridiculous now he probably has more money at his fingertips than the government itself now remember how you said you’d pay for this dinner it’s all on you and I want to go to a very nice place we’ll handle everything after all I’m trying to make an impression – must spend money to get money oh yeah you’re really a wonderful friend and believe me I’ll and I’ll never forget this and after we get married we’ll name our first baby after you that is if it’s a girl if it’s a boy we’ll name him Jim but we’ll spell it Jane well now that I’ve committed myself to cocktails I guess I better run out and get some hors d’oeuvres fine Jane and after cocktails the entire evening is on me it had better be unloaded oh well it’s working out wonderfully where are we go for dinner it’s not important what is important is where am I gonna get the money to pay for but how didn’t you get your unemployment check today yeah but made some bad business investments chicken ran into the crummiest slot machines I have ever seen I have seen more lemons today than the whole state of California oh but Al Jane and her boyfriend her groin is your guest what are you gonna do chicken when you’re in a spot like this there’s only one man who can help you well who else but hello Joe ah got a problem need 50 bucks immediately what do you suggest uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh mm-hmm play bingo but Joe how do you win 50 bucks playing bingo all the way you play it at surefire stand in a dark alley with a club wait for a guy to walk past and bingo you’ve got the money oh no Joe no must be legitimate in that case you cannot be of service to me gotcha goodbye Joe chicken you get ready I’m going out to try to hustle the 50 bucks but uh you got your unemployment check today what are you doing back Pete I’m in a spot could I have an advance against the next two weeks promise you I won’t get a job a look that’s against regulations it can’t be done but this might help you I’m entertaining a big shot with the government might get you a good job please I’ll don’t bother me I’ve got my own troubles I’ve got a date with a new girl tonight and I’ve got to raise ten bucks to get my suit out of hock I was in a worse hole but luckily she’s got a girlfriend whose chump boyfriend is picking up the dinner time you’re a fine pal but I’ll fix you this year I vote Republican and next year you’ll be in this line right in back of me well Ella I’m all dressed and ready to go out are we going to her Ritchie restaurant with my present resources chicken I hope Jane’s boyfriend’s a vegetarian Wow looks like we’re gonna chew grass in the park al Jan will be embarrassed because this is our first date and he’s such an important man and everything now come in it’s only us again Kropotkin and O’Reilly hello mrs. O’Reilly and I would like for you to do us a favor tonight please we are going out and we wonder if you’ll take any messages that come for us be glad to professor but you got to do me a favor huh it’s a matter of life or death could you lend me 50 sure can you break a dollar No fifty bucks Wow if I had 50 bucks do you think I would be going around with a certain party so she won’t throw me out because I can’t pay the rent Oh professor you and your jokes I’ll teach you nervous I’ll since your armors boyfriend and I’m in such a good mood tonight I lend you the $50 gee thanks if I thought I’d get it back oh I’ll be good for it very well now if you gentlemen turn your backs I’ll take it out of the vault now don’t peek professor send its token how do you like that and to think I’ve been wasting time holding hands before here you are al come on mrs. O’Reilly now we can go dancing before I was ashamed to take you before it looked like you had three knees goodbye and good luck here thanks again mrs. O’Reilly consider this only a temporary loan okay chicken now we’re in business and since we’re going out with such an important man you take this money and go down and buy yourself an orchid well Allen Irma and myself are waiting for Peter Guildford to come over for cocktails Irma’s dressed for the occasion she’s wearing a sweater with her initials and I and a P embroidered on it and knowing that Peter is a government man Irma wants to show him she’s impartial so she’s embroidered two more letters in front of her initials D for Democrat and an R for Republican of course the fact that it comes out drip doesn’t seem to bother at all honey yes Jane you know I can’t understand why Peters late well he better show up I’ve already invested ten bucks for chickens orchid he’s got to be a very big man for me to get my money back now don’t worry Alan just don’t embarrass me please I guess I’ll go in the kitchen fix the orders chicken just got an idea whatare when this Peter gets here it won’t be right for me to blow my own horn so I think I’ll go into the bathroom and that’ll give you a chance to tell them all about me well what do I say well tell him I’m now retired but we’ll make myself available because I know the government wants men to take charge of various projects in all 48 states see projects in all 48 states yes I’ll remember oh that must be him now let him in I’ll be in the back come in mr. Guilford oh good evening you must be Jane’s roommate yes that’s me my initials are on my sweater just the second half won’t you sit down so we get a shout about my boyfriend what about him he’s been engaged in various projects and he’s wanted in all 48 states what honey would you get the ISO that oh hello Peter oh hello Jane your your roommate has been trying to tell me something but I know we’ll have a drink Irma’s easier to take that right I’ll I’ll come on out I want you to meet someone woman ow this is ow Pete holy Mack Jane is this the bigshot government man why yes chicken you know your orchid yes put it in the icebox we’re gonna have to eat it all week the other night I came home and found that erm had made a little black jacket which she’d put on our bar of Swan soap so I said Erma honey what’s the idea of that and Erma said well Jennifer penguin can wear a tuxedo so can i Swan well that’s Erma giving her I honor Swan soap and no wonder because Herrmann knows that Swan is the perfect soap for dishes and you know ladies it is why even the way a cake of Swan feels tells you it’s a perfect dishwashing soap sure the next time you unwrap a cake of Swan just feel the cake with your fingertips feel how Swan super creamed blend makes it differ from other soaps it feels smoother and feel those mild Swan suds they feel richer creamier then you’ll know why super creamed blend protect your hands yes thanks to Swan super cream blend your hands are left with a soft smooth young look and here’s an added note those Swan suds rinse away so completely your dishes don’t need wiping a real time saver so for a soap that protects your hands a soap that gets you out of the kitchen in a hurry you want the soap with the exclusive super creamed blend Swan so well it’s a small world I never knew it could be so revolting me Jane Stacy the girl with all the answers had to fall for a guy who was only one step ahead of Elle so I said you know where am i I’ve learned my lesson I’m gonna stick with Richard a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush that’s what L says what do you mean honey he says why should he go looking for another chicken when he has a perfectly good cuckoo yeah and for once Alice come through with a perfect description of my friend Irma you my friend Irma presented by Swan another fine product of Lehman Brothers company was produced and directed by sy Howard tonight script was written by sy Howard and park levy my friend Irma stars Marie Wilson is Irma and Kathy Lewis is Jane the part of Professor Kropotkin was played by Hans Connery ladies listen the shortage of fats and oils is still very serious and its worldwide so please keep on saving every drop of used kitchen fat your butcher will pay you for every pound Frank Kingman’s speaking strive strive and the reason for our kitchen boom is PI rely on spry yes there’s a reason why spry makes graham cakes spry has an amazing cake improver secret try the spry one bowl way and be sure of lighter finer richer cakes every time no other type of shortening has surprise cake improver for new cake making success try spry the pure all vegetable shortening reliance by SP ry reliance by junior next week one hour earlier and listen to the lux radio theater immediately followed by my friend Irma this is CBS we’re ninety nine million people gather every week the Columbia Broadcasting System Jane Jane yes sir mo what is it I can’t understand why I was 5 pounds overweight when I stood in the scales I told you why you had that heavy purse in your hand not the second time Jane I hung it over my shoulder well that’s what you can expect when you listen to my friend Irma friendship friendship just perfect friendship when other friendships offense will still be huh leave her brother’s company makers of Swan the soap with the exclusive super creamed plan presents our friend Swan with my friend Emma starring Marie Wilson is Irma and Kathy Lewis is Jane well here it is 12 o’clock Saturday the noon whistles have just blown and me little Jane’s Stacy I’m going to do the same because as far as the Rheinland of investment company is concerned they can take their job and till Monday morning so I covered my typewriter opened my purse examined my shopping list looked at my paycheck tore up my shopping list kicked my typewriter slammed the door and I’m off which reminds me I’m a Peterson is waiting for me on 42nd Street a little boy you ought to be ashamed of yourself smoking a cigar in broad daylight bra lady I’m old enough to be your father don’t you dare sit there and talk to me that way look lady I ain’t sitting I happen to be a singer midget and I’m tall for my age just a minute Sonny Allison ladies stop annoying me or I’ll climb up over this curb and let you have it things are always trying to push me up oh ohoh jail you been waiting long honey not by my watch it stopped Oh Jane I had a terrible experience for little boys smoking a black cigar I’m sure it wasn’t any more than two feet old Oh Emma why is it that these things only happen to you no one else come on honey let’s go shopping huh Jane Jane what’s the matter honey hey I feel 2 eyes in my back Emma we’ve just passed an optometrist sign don’t cause a scene please but Jana I think we’re being followed look back I’m scared Oh Irma you’re just being silly but I’ll normos someone is following us Jing what do we do let’s turn up this side street see if he follows come on look back look back on no Jane you look back alright remember he’s still following this now I’m getting worried don’t be scared Jane you know the saying two’s company three’s a crowd so as long as we’re in a crowd nothing could happen come on please honey let’s run maybe we can shake him Romney Jane I wouldn’t touch it with a 10-foot Pole Irma Irma I have a feeling he’s catching up with this hurry up honey come on hurry Emma what are you doing with that handkerchief I’m going to drop it hi well if he’s in Maggio think I’m flirting with him what he bends over to pick it up you hit him and I’ll kick him then we’ll both run it sounds like a good idea honey maybe it’ll work drop the handkerchief all right there pardon me the two ladies drop this handkerchief yes oh here it is Oh Jana didn’t work he picked it up with his cane I’ve been following you young ladies for several blocks that’s evident oh I apologize you see I’m a photographer oh sure yeah I know you’re a photographer and you thought we were so beautiful that you want to take pictures of us send us to Hollywood and give us a contract to play office of Gavi Hayes no no you kept me all wrong I know this is a very unprofessional approach and I don’t blame you for being suspicious so uh here’s my name and my car a jack Burrell chief photographer Manhattan magazine I know you’ve heard of our magazine yes well you see I’ve been assigned to do a series of pictures of typical young working girls so I’d like to take some pictures of you Oh Jane isn’t it wonderful you’ll be on the cover of a magazine imagine my best girlfriend for only 15 cents 20 in Canada now there’s no sense in discussing it further at this time you check on the legitimacy of my offer and if you’re interested I’d appreciate it if you’d give me a ring later today goodbye bye gee Emma do you think he’s a phony well I don’t know Jane but let’s go home and ask how if he’s a phony I will know no question about it if he’s a phony he’ll turn out to be Al’s best friend come in it’s only me professional party hello Jamie and Adam uh my two little ballet dancers one on her toes the other still spinning excuse me a little joke I picked up from a dying Swan Oh professor Jane has a chance to be a photographer’s model should she take it why not name me two prettier girls in all of New York than my two little sweet eyes Oh professor that’s sweet of you oh no Beauty when I see you don’t misjudge me just because I go around with mrs. O’Reilly you know many a man who like steak has to be satisfied with her I don’t think you should describe mrs. alrighty that way your item she’s not ash she’s more on the order of pigs knuckles but but I like she’s got a good heart but I’m sick she makes me a little soup and and that saves my life because I know if I don’t get out of bed her soup is gonna kill me but Jamie there I think this will be a good opportunity for you I want to wish you lots of luck and now I got to leave because mrs. O’Reilly is taking me for a walk in the Bowery the Bowery that’s a terrible place I know but she wants some ideas on how to redecorate my room only one person in an apartment house has got the nerve to not like that the landlady come in mrs. O’Reilly hello girls hello professor Oh mrs. O’Reilly maybe you could help me I’d like to ask your advice uh I’ve got a chance to pose as a photographer’s model do you think I should accept it what are you asking her for what does she know how dare you say that professor I’ll have you know I used to be a mother mr. Finley’s younger days you model what for the monitor or the Merrimack Oh go along with you as a girl I had a very attractive figure and they’re warm a bustle at a vicious angle in fact people used to be steak me for Anna held I see what you mean where Anna held you bulge come along this is O’Reilly let Jamie decide for herself well I guess you’re right professor after all Janie’s got a good head on her shoulders she’s not like her Oh goodbye Armour bless you you’re a lovely girl Emma I’ve made up my mind I got a hunch I’m gonna call it the magazine and check on mr. Birrell right now oh good for you Jane Oh Jane if it works out well for you then maybe you could get me a job too is then we could model twin things like a two-way stretch you can stretch one way and I can stretch the other gran you’ll be in Scotland before me hello hello Manhattan magazine do you have a mr. Birrell there oh he’s head of your photographic Department yes I’d like to speak with him thank you oh he’s not a phony not now hello hello mr. Burrell uh this is miss Stacy the young lady you gave the card to this morning yes yes I know now it’s a legitimate proposition but you can’t blame a girl for being suspicious yes I’d very much like to model for you what’s that you’ll come over tonight at my place or you have a deadline to make yeah yeah I suppose we’ll be all right yes at eight o’clock fine I live at 82 24 West 73rd Street apartment 3b see you at 8:00 goodbye Oh Emma he’s coming here tonight to shoot the picture he says he has a deadline oh my gosh I I have no idea what to wear well Jane don’t be silly for a deadline you’d wear black Thank You Irma Peterson well now that I decided to do it gee I gotta look my best and Irma please note I don’t want anything to go wrong understand well don’t worry uh Jean why don’t you wear your great pleated skirt I’ll be glad to present for you and no thanks honey why can’t I press it for you because I remember how to look the last time you pressed it you see you’re my pleats are supposed to run up and down not across there must be something I can do I know I’ll fix your hair how so it’ll never grow again well I could brush your suede shoes like you did the last time with my hairbrush oh how about no gosh Jane can I even do your nails no honey I didn’t like the way you did them last time I I happen to be one of those persons who likes only one point on each nail come in higher chicken Oh Jane hi al excuse me will you I’ve got to get my things together what are you so excited about Jane don’t run Oh want to tell you about my new deal no thanks al I do not care to hear about your deal it can have no effect on me whatsoever I already have the jitters now if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna get dressed James never interested in me on my work well I’d love to hear your new deal ah thanks chicken always can depend on you and you won’t go wrong because this one will make all our dreams come true it’s a campaign button with a picture of Truman wearing a button with a picture station wearing a button with a picture of Wallace wearing a button with a picture of MacArthur so you don’t have to commit yourself in front of the wrong people yeah you’re the smartest man I know he’s a kid let’s have it hello chicken why do you always say hello when I kiss you sometime I think it’s all a dream but when you answer me I know you’re there someday I’ll be there with you for life well but until then I wish there was some glamour in my life like what happened to Jane what happened to Jane she’s going to be a photographer’s model oh I envy her Oh chicken get that notion re ahead hey Mary Ann Oh career girl I know where these things lead first you’re a model then you win a beauty contest and you become a chorus girl I don’t want our kids to say hey pop give me a quarter for the show I want to go see mom she I never looked at it that way a chicken how about you and me taking a little walk huh well any other time al but right now I’ve got to go in and help Jane she won’t appreciate it no Jane needs me after all without me things can go wrong and I should be there to make sure okay we’ll pick you up later tonight imma go to a movie a J can I come in Ella’s gone oh I see you have all your clothes laid out on the bed yeah yeah that’s because I want to know where everything is that includes you now please don’t touch anything how would you know what to help there anything I can do like pluck your eyebrows no honey no you did that once before and when you were finished everyone thought I worked for the telegraph company I had three dots in the – over each eye Oh sweetie I don’t want anything to go wrong I want to look my very best for the picture so just sit in that chair over in the corner and watch oh gee there must be some little thing I could do I feel so useless and empty inside all right honey all right there is something you can do bring me a little table lamp in the front room huh I need more light well thank you Jane let’s see um here’s a table lamp I’ll just gently pick it up Emma Emma the lights went out in here what happened I don’t know Jane that went out in here too you you know ladies swan soap actually differs from other soaps sure feel a cake of swan it feels smoother as Suzy Swan says it’s a smoothie it’s a smoothie it’s a cake of Swan you can feel that super cream plan you can feel the difference in it you can tell it in a minute it’s a smoothie that’s why yes ladies the way Swan feels is a direct result of Swan super creamed blend run your finger tips over the surface of the cake feel the smoothness then feel Swan suds they feel richer creamier and swans mild suds protect your hands sure when you’re through look at your hands they’re left with a smooth soft young look what’s more Swan super cream suds rinse away so completely your dishes don’t need wiping yes ma’am Swan soap means faster dishwashing and protection for your hands thanks to swans exclusive super cream blend well here I am Manhattan magazines perspective glamour girl sitting in total darkness with my beloved roommate but as dark as this room is I don’t think it begins to compare with the blackout which is Emma’s mind she had to blow a fuse just when there’s no one in the entire building to help us and just when I’m on the brink of the greatest opportunity a girl ever had you know I should be crying doesn’t work that way Irma is the one that’s crying irma would would you just please please stop that whimpering so you didn’t mean to blow the fuse all right I forgive you that’s not why I’m crying then why are you crying I’m afraid of the door what goodness sakes don’t be a child with three floors up now who could get in here at all second-story man gee who are you near the fireplace honey where are you I think I’m in it it’s very warm Irma that’s the radiator oh honey please stop that crying and help me get out of this spot please run down to the drugstore and get a box of fuses all right Jane but I can’t see where the door is oh yeah well I just figure out where in the room you’re standing I can’t I’m so frightened and nervous my hands are dripping with perspiration hmm well stand still and I’ll feel my way over to you Irma your hands are in the goldfish bowl I thought it had an awful lot of fingers no where’s the door it’s so dark well honey just just walk ahead and turn when you get to the couch Jane Jane the walls are closing in on me Irma you’re in the closet oh honey come on I’ll show you the door not not now get the fuses Irma he’ll be here any minute I’ll be right back team hey chicken what’s the big hurry hello alla I blew out the fuse and James trying to get dressed with a photographer and oh ma I’m on my way to buy a fuse for a necessary chicken in an emergency like this there’s only one man to call yeah who else but hello Joe got a problem what do you know about electricity uh-huh uh-huh mm-hmm you refuse to discuss the subject it has taken four members of your family but how Joe it came suddenly they were all sitting in a chair at the time understand and respect your feelings Joe we’ll handle it myself gotcha goodbye Joe chicken know what to do let’s go down to the master control box downstairs we’ll fix everything well do you know anything about electricity all there is to know follow me you see chicken if a man in handy around the house he can’t call himself a man for instance the other day the hotel shut off my lights a little technicality I didn’t pay the rent so what do I do I rigged up my lights to the hotel sign outside my window does it work I don’t know if just like the sign well here we are chicken here’s the master control box well you haven’t got a fuse don’t need a few just put a penny in like this you notice how dark it is now all the lights are out how do you like that force of habit use the slug instead of a penny but it’s easily fixed there must be another fuse box up in your apartment we can take care of oh yes in the kitchen closet it’s for pipes and switches on field day let’s go yeah doesn’t seem a crime why we spend so much money on the tunnel of love and now we have all this darkness for nothing we waste it I realized the opportunity chicken but someone is liable to sluggish in the dock it’ll be Jean with a baseball bat well here we are Jane where are you that’s you well I’m in the shower and I haven’t got a minute to waste we’ll have everything fixed immediately handyman you know all right chicken where’s that fuse box right over here oh yeah don’t even have a match but know my way around these things yeah now let’s see these pipes must be feet of pipes a little loose oh here’s a wrench well tighten them up he was all Stan yeah the water stopped running not out here my feet are getting wet Oh for heaven’s sakes now I can’t get this soap off me we’ll fix it a minute now let me see there should be a loose wire around here see if you can feel around for a chicken loose wire oh here’s one oh wait it’s stuck I’ll give it a few Yanks here Thanks hmm no results listen the two of you I’m gonna catch pneumonia I don’t know what you’re up to but you call the electric company at once do you hear logical suggestion chicken do what she says oh wow what chicken I think I pulled the wrong wire wrong doesn’t work now Oh what are the two of you up to the lights don’t work the water doesn’t work now the phone doesn’t work I can’t even commit suicide because I’m sure the gas doesn’t work either Oh what’ll I do how can they take pictures of me I’m covered with soap I got in an O robe and my hair’s a mess well answer me the two of you where are you so the evening shouldn’t be a total loss me and chicken are sitting here on the sofa oh no that’s mr. burr alpha from Manhattan magazine you tell him I’m sick I have left town come in welcome who are you oh it’s me and the professor girls my what’s happened to all the lights Irma blew the fuse and how helped her with the rest just what I’m expecting some oh how dreadful to be stranded in the dark like this now that all depends on how you view it to me mrs. o’reilly you have never looked more beautiful Oh quiet professor we better hurry up and find some fuses oh no it’s too late he’ll be here any minute and I’m just a man well there’s no time to waste come on professor oh oh oh it’s way too dark on the staircase give me your hand professor positively not you’re liable to enjoy it and I know you you’re just the kind who will go around blowing out fuses Jane Jane what do you want I can’t see your face are you mad at me no I feel like throwing a party for you for you and that fugitive from an honest dollar must be me now look kid Oh be still with Julia you just ruined everything but we’re sorry Jane you’re always sorry you were sorry when you plucked all the gray hairs out of my silver fox because you thought it looked too old I’m sorry when you cut off in front of my best evening gown coz your wretched midriff sorry look Jane the lights went on I’ll get out of the icebox Jane Jane I have something to tell you what you look a mess no kidding I know my hair is a mess in my face is covered with soap and I’m wearing an old bathrobe hey you don’t have to tell me oh that’s a photographer what should i do gee it doesn’t matter tell him I’m sick I went out of town my grandfather died who is it mr. Ferrell I’m here to photograph of Stacie Jane is dead if you had a town to see her sick grandfather holy chicken let the guy in tell him the truth Oh Oh Oh mr. Birrell I’m so sorry hold it hold it you look perfect perfect yes perfect card you think of the get up get up oh I’m so glad you understand it were after Manhattan magazine doesn’t want fancy poses we want realism and I’ve got just the slant for the picture Manhattan magazine visits the average American girl on Saturday night when she starts getting dressed for her date we’ll shoot you from the tub to the Trocadero you’ll be sensational oh isn’t it wonderful Jane your picture is going to be on all the magazine stands yeah soap suds and all well you should be glad at least everybody will know you had a bath you know it’s things like that that make me want to shower my affections on the head of my friend well ladies don’t wander far from your radios right now because we have two grand pieces of news for you first listen have you heard about the exciting aluminum we’re author it’s the offer being made by Lux flakes Lynne so Lux toilet soap lifebuoy silver dust spry and Swan soap and it’s wonderful yes ladies your dealer can help you get some modern heavy gauge aluminum wear for your kitchen you save from 33 and a third to 50% on this offer you get a set of two 8-inch cake pans worth a dollar 15 for only 75 cents or you can get a 2 quart saucepan or a 9 inch frying pan worth $2 each for only one dollar a piece your dealer can give you all the details yes ask your dealer about the livre aluminum where offer he’ll tell you how to get in on it and now ladies here are the names of the grand winners in the fifth and final week of the $100,000 lever fur contest first prize a three thousand dollar mink coat or the cash goes to mrs. Leon L Bagley of Cornish New Hampshire congratulations the second prize winners are grace our haasvelt of Lacey Park hatboro Pennsylvania mrs. AVD Burt of Bethesda Maryland mrs. Ernest W Blair of Tampa Florida you each win a beautiful $1,000 fur coat or the cash nice going the other three hundred twenty-five winners will be notified by mail don’t forget ladies ask your dealer about the Liebherr aluminum wire offer tomorrow my friend Irma presented by Swan another fine product of Libra brothers company was produced and directed by sy Howard tonight script was written by sy Howard and park Levy folks next Monday evening listen again to our friend Swan with my friend Emma starring Marie Wilson miss Irma and Cathy Lewis is Jane the part of Professor Kropotkin was played by Hans can read Frank Pinkman speaking there’s a reason why from King Koopa spies reliance fry yes there’s a reason why spry makes grand cakes fry has an amazing cake improve her secret try the Spry one bull way and be sure of lighter finer richer cakes every time no other type of shortening has spies cake improver four new cake making success try spry the pure all vegetable shortening reliance by SVR was reliance 5sp Union next week one hour earlier and listen to the lux radio theater immediately followed by my friend Irma this is CBS we’re ninety nine million people gather every week the Columbia Broadcasting System

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