Mark: So, do we just start out with a big colored dick in front of us and we gotta go for this? Wade: Woo! Oh ho ho! Jack: This is confusing. Bob: Why does it look like a bunch of little penises are pouring salt on us? Jack: Fuck! Mark: Oh, its physically based?! You’ve got to physically swonk it? Wade: Yup! Mark: Oh fuck this shit…
Jack: KA-TOOSH Mark: Oh fuck this shit! Bob: Imma bogey.
Jack: It’s speed based Mark: Oh, fuck this shit
Wade: Let’s watch Mark slooowly make his way Mark: Hang on, hang on Bob: Hey guess what everybody I got a bogey Mark: Aww fuck this shit Jack: They look like licorice- Mark: Fuck you Mark: Bap Mark: Jesus Christ Wade: It matters how hard you push it forward. Mark: Yea, I get that Wade, thank you. Mark: No, I get… Mark: I get it Jack: Oh shit! *laughs* whoops! Mark: Alright Bob: HIYEAH Bob: Ho-ly shit! Wade: Wow, Bob. Jack: I don’t like this. Mark: Oh, boy… Jack: I don’t like this. Mark: Oh, boy Bob: HIYEAH! Wade: Woo hoo! Bob: Uh-ho.No, not like this. Mark: No! Wade: *weird seal noise* Jack: This is really hard to get a feel for. Wade: Oh, also, if you press L, your balls glow. Mark: Why? Mark: Why would that help anybody? Wade: I don’t know. I was just letting you know. Mark: No! Mark: *under his breath* okay Bob: What’s up, I made it to the end. Jack: Triple Bogie! Wade: Mark, what’s up over here? Mark: Fucking Jesus! Jack: Bob, it looks like you- looks like you have tiny penis shakers with “S”s on them Bob: I know, thats what I was saying. It looks like little dildos are sprinkling salt on me the whole time. Bob: Just imagine the sound the sound they’re making. They’re just like- Wade: I don’t think that’s the salt Mark: No! Jack: I think maybe Mark should have the salt. Wade: Yeah, I think Mark needs the salt. Mark: Nope Bob: How did I get the salt on top? Mark: Nooope. Wade: His little fleshy sushi doesn’t quite fit. Mark: Nup I got it guys Bob: Nuupe. Mark: Ahhh, no. Jack: Do we go this way? Mark: ‘Cuz at least, ya know Mark: The one thing I can say about this game Mark: Is that the physics seem to be accurate Mark: So I can’t exactly… Mark: Blap! Mark: Woah! Bob: Hole in one! Hole in one. Hole in one. Hole in one. Wade: Wow Bob Jack: Are you serious? Mark: Wow, bob Jack: Back! Bob: Get wrecked. Mark: Dammit! Mark: Damn fuck you. Jack: Get your balls outta my way.
Mark: Fuuck you Mark: Nooo Wade: I should’ve gone the other way. Mark: I’ve been all about the balls today Mark: So you can just… Bob: I like how Wade is just- Jack: Uh-oh uh-oh! Mark: Fuck man Mark: Where am I ? Jack: Go in go in go in go in go in-COME ON! COME OOON! Bob: Wow.. Jack: FUCK Mark: Ohhh Bob: That’s like hovering over the edge. *Mark quietly laughs* Jack: I coulda farted that into the hole! *Mark laughs again* Bob: Why didn’t ya? Why didn’t you give it a little- a little *fart noise*. Jack: A little *fart noise*. Mark: A little… a little toot Wade: I don’t think we went the best- *Jack making more fart noises* Mark: Fuck *Bob laughs* Mark: Why didn’t you give it a little Mark: BAAAAAAA Mark and Jack: AAH Mark: AAH Mark: There we go. Wade: AAAH Mark: At least it’s a wide hole. Mark: It’s got some girth to it. Bob: Yeah that’s a huge hole. How’d you guys mess that up? Mark: Fuck you, that’s how. Jack: FUCK Jack: How’d I mess that up? Jack: Oh hey. Mark: I don’t know, man. Mark: HEY, YES! Wade: NOO! Mark: Thank you! *Jack and Bob laugh* Mark: Thank you! Jack: Noo! Mark: Thank you. Mark: Oh, thank you. Bob: No NO Jack: Bye Bob. *laughs* *Mark laughs* Jack: Mr. Hole in one. Mark: The shoe is on the other foot now. *More weird noise from Wade* Bob: I’m an idiot though so it’s fine. *Weird noises* Wade: Whatever. Mark: Thanks Wade. Wade: You’re welcome. Oh, this one’s annoying, just so you know. Mark: Is it really? Jack: HAA Bob: Sounds annoying. Jack: Get your fire ball away from me. Bob: Oh hey, what’s up bitches. Wade: Oh hey. Wade: Hey how’s it going? Mark: Ohhh boy. Jack: Fuck fuck fuck. Bob: I have an idea. Bob: HAAAA Mark: Woah, Jesus. Bob: Oh my god! *laughing* Jack: Where’d you go? Wade: Where- how did you go? Mark: Ohh nooo! Mark: It IS annoying! Wade: What, NO! Mark: Oh, it is! Jack: Stay stay stay stay STAAAY! Mark: Fuck, holy shit. Jack: Oh hey! *laughs* Bob: Come on. Wade: *high pitched* NOOO Mark: Uh oh… Mark: Uh oh… Jack: Fuck my ass. Jack: Oh hey buddy. Mark: Hey buddy. Jack: Two sad balls. No no no WHOW-OH-OH Bob. Bob: NO NO NO NO Mark: Wade, Wade you wait, you wait your turn Wade. Mark: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *High pitch scream from Wade* Mark: Oh Wade you saved me. You screwed yourself and you saved me. Wade: Yeah I screwed myself hard. Bob: NO NO NO NO-Jack bring me with you! Jack: *Pterodactyl sound* No-NO-HO-HO! Bob: Hey buddy. Mark: Oh no. Bob: You go first, okay? Jack: No you go first. *More screams from Wade* Jack: After salt, after salt. *Mark laughing* Bob: Ha ha he hu he hu Bob: Noo! Wade: Oh hey Bob. Mark: Oooh boy. Bob: Wade how’s it going? Jack: Stay stay stay you green bitch. Mark: Wade hit him, hit him. Hit him. Jack: If you- if any of you hits me, I’m gonna hit you in real life. NOOO! *laughter* Bob: Sto-hahahap(?) Mark: There you go. Jack: Finally. Jesus. Wade: What-what the weakling shot- Jack: It didn’t even give me a shot. Bob: Wade whatcha doin’ here? Wade: Bob-don’t. Jack: You’ve twenty seconds. *More Mark laughter* Bob: I got it. Mark: Man you guys got in there late. I think I’m starting to get the hang of this. *Bob laughs* Mark: I think I’m really starting to get a… Bob: Hey Mark, did you know there’s a power bar? Bob: Oh wait. That was a different time you were an idiot. Wade: Oh! Mark: Oh wow. Mark: Who’s an idiot now bitch! OOH YE-AH! Jack: No no NO! Mark: Oh yeah! Jack: FUCK Wade: Bo-ob Bob: Not my fault Wade Mark: Oh yeah. Oh that is-that’s the sweet delicious taste of…tang. Wade: I didn’t hit that hard. Jack: Retribution. *Bob laughs* Bob: Dammit Wade. *More laughter* Bob: You made me laugh and fucked up my shot. *More Wade screams* Bob: *laughing* Fucking shit. Bob: This is really, like, sensitive. Jack: Yeah Wade’s the one who’s played this before like alot. Wade: I-I’ve not played it a lot. Bob: Aw, come on! Mark: Aw, he’s played it a lot. He sounds like he’s played it a lot. Bob: He does sound like he’s played it a lot. Wade: Yeah, looks like I’ve played it a lot too a-holes Bob: Woo I did it! Mark: He he heh. Jack’s You’re gonna be in my description as salty dicks. Wade: I’m in LAST place. This is bullshit… Bob: Who’s winning? Hey I’m winning! Mark: Wait, how-how do you- ooh. Jack: Fuck Mark: Oh, that’s kinda cool. Bob: Hey Jack. Jack: Hey. Bob: Don’t-DON’T donnn’t. Mark: *imitating Bob* Donnn’t Bob: Oh hey I did it first try. Go team. Mark: Oooh hole in one! Bob: Shit son. Mark: OOH! Mark: Oh. Oh. Oh oh oh! Mark: I’m starting to get a hang. OOoo! Jack: I fucking hate this game *laughter* Jack: I’m going to be here all day! Wade: Jack’s not having a good time. *laughter* Bob: Just whack the shit out of it Jack. Mark:Yeah, you’re doing great man. Bob: Honestly, honestly if you hit it really hard it’ll bounce off the other side back onto the top. Jack: Will it? Will it? Mark: Will it? Jack: Will it? Jack: No, that wasn’t hard enough! Bob: Which one of us has finished his hole already, I wonder. Jack: I swung hard. Wade: *laughs* Oh man… Jack: You guys-you guys good? Mark: Hey Bob. Bob: You having a fun time? Mark: Bob I’m- I’m-I’ma close second to you in score I could catch up here. Bob: I see. I see. Mark: Yeah. Wade: I’m only four behind. Jack: Oh! Bob: There you go! Mark: Yeah! Bob: You shoulda done that thing I said the whole time. Jack: I tried but- Mark: Yeah. His weak arms couldn’t make the shot. Bob: Do or do not. Okay motherfuckers? Jack: There is only try wait where’s the hole Mark: Guys, where’s the hole Bob: I’m gonna watch Wade and see what happens Mark: Yeah wade, – Jack: It’s over far left- Mark: The guy thats played it alot Jack: It’s over here Wade:Yeah so much Jack: OHOHOH YEAH! Bob: I’m a professional just like Markiplier Mark: Thanks man Wade: WOOHOO! Yeah okay shit. Bob: That was too soft. Mark: Ohhh crest the hill but don’t crest it too hard- OHH BABY! I am amazing at this! I am astonishingly good! I think we I think we found something that Mark doesn’t suck at Mark: Yeah, finally. It only took five years. Bob: At the first few holes- Jack: Welcome to life. Mark: Hmmmm. Wade: What- AHHH NO JACK! Bob: Oh no! *Mark laughing* Why? Jack: You don’t fucking blame me. *Mark still laughing* Jack: Okay, I got this I got this I got this. *Mark still laughing* Fuck off Mark. MARK! *Everyone laughing* Fuck you! Mark: AHH- Fuck you man! Fuck you! *Jack laughing* OHH I’m back at the top! Fuck you! Bob; Oh shit there’s a jump there. Jack: Oh shit. Bob: Ah shit. Jack: If it’s any constellation I did not do myself any favour Mark: That’s not constellation at all! I was in prime position! Bob: NO! Mark: You were full of dick bags! Hey, hi Jack. Jack: Hey if you could get your payback. Bob: OH NO! *Mark laughing* Wade: Bye Bob! Bob: God damn it Jack: Oh shit. *Mark laughing* Mark: Ah damn it. Jack: Oh I broke it! Bob: Oh! Did I hit someone? aww fuck ??? ???? Yayyyyyyyyy i did it Mark: Ohh, yay! Wade:Oh you guys said,Par Mark:I’m in The drink. Mark:Oh boy. Wade:How the hell Do we get over there? Mark:Oh! So clo-o-o-o-o-o-ose. Jack: OH! Oh Nooooooo. Mark:Nooooooooo. Jack:Do we actually have To bounce themselvs in? Mark:Oooooooh. Mark:Hey Guys! I did it, Why cant you Do it Also? Jack:They dont really Want to, Thats why. Mark:Its so rare That im on this side Of the fence,Like. Wade:BEEEEEEEP!!!! Mark:Uhhh,Joker is that you?? Mark:BEEEEHEEP Wade:PLEASE! PLEASE!!! Bob:This is really funny,Even though i suck at it its still damn Funny. Wade:WHY IS THAT A WEAKLING SHOT?! Wade:OH GOOD,IM OVER HERE!! Wade:the Hell do i do NOW!?! Jack:Fuuuuck. Wade:WHY TIME RAN OUT!?!?!?!!!