(Jared sighs) – Fore! (chuckling) Just kidding, I’m not gonna hit it that hard, I’m gonna
hit it soft, that’s the, putting is the soft one, see, I’m learning how to putt to impress my… daddy, father, Mr. Trump, President Trump. (Jared clears throat)
(ball rattles) – Ouch, Jared! You hit my fucking foot again! – My goodness, my darling, I’m so sorry. Here, I’ll kiss it and make it better. – No, don’t kiss it. There are Jimmy Choos.
– Right, of course. – I don’t want your slobber
all over the patent leather. – Yeah, no slobber on patent leather. That’s something I say all the time. I mean honestly, I should
crochet it on a pillow at this point, I say it so much. – I don’t think anyone
would wanna see that. Jared, please try to
get good at golf, okay? Daddy invited you to
Mar-A-Lago with Rex Tillerson, Sean Hannity, and Steve Harvey. I don’t want you to
embarrass yourself as usual. – No, and I don’t want
to embarrass myself. Or you, or yourself or Daddy’s self. So I will get better and I
will, you watch, right now. – He’s not your dad. Let’s try to do something right for once! – I do love Steve Harvey.
– Oh my God, he’s hilarious. – And underrated, too.
– Yeah. He needs to be in movies and more TVs. – Okay, here we go. (dramatic music) – Jared. No. – Mm. – You look like a
cartoon of a drunk camel. Aren’t white people good at golf? Now I understand why
your dad went to jail. – You watching, Ivanka?
– I am. – You watching, look, trick shot! – I should’ve married Topher Grace. (upbeat music) – Do over! Bad Jared, bad, you’re
doing bad at putting! – Just pretend that the hole is money and you want more, I don’t know. – Okay… last one. – Ow, Jared, you hit my foot again! – Ooh, my foot, ooh. Ooh, baby, kiss it please? – I’m not gonna kiss your foot. I’d rather go to Nordstrom Rack. – I’ve been to Iraq. – No, you haven’t. You’ve been to Afghanistan. – No wonder they haven’t gotten my mail. – What have you put in the letters? – Just secrets.
– No, Jared! Never secrets in the mail! – I have a pen-pal in Kabul. – Never secrets in the mail! goddammit! – You wanna play more putting? – It’s called golf. – Let’s play putt, swinging and putting. – It’s called golf, Jared. – Ivanka, let’s play putting. – (laughing) It’s not
putting, Jared, it’s golf. I’ll take your dick out of
your cage if you get it in. Jared, you cannot be sending mail. – I made pen-pals when I was there. – No.
– Lots of ’em. – [Ivanka] Mm. No, no, no.
– All boys, don’t worry. – [Ivanka] (chuckling)
No, that’s bad, Jared. – Am I good at petting?
– No, you’re very bad. – Mm, what am I good at? Putting?