Golf Cart Confessions: “Fruit of the Loom ain’t got nothin’ on ya…”
Golf Cart Confessions: “Fruit of the Loom ain’t got nothin’ on ya…”


[MUSIC] Go Stanford! I had been invited to the Theta Delta
house for dinner by a friend. And he said, Sylvia,
do you like saltwater taffy? And I said God I love it. It’s one of my favorite things. So I reached into the bowl, unwrapped it, popped it in my mouth and
my head almost exploded. It was garlic. It was a garlic flavored salt water taffy. And he had brought all these guys and
they’re all just laughing uproariously. We went to dinner but
the entire time I’m seething. After dinner, he’s had his good laugh and
he said oh, all in good fun, right? So I said, oh yeah. So he made the fatal mistake of
letting me go back to that room. And it struck me that, I didn’t know
what to do, but I saw his laundry. It was a basket of clean laundry. Thank God it was clean. And all I did was grab it and
I threw it out the window. That night, I decided I was going to
hang his underwear on the claw. We were able to get our
hands on some butcher paper. So I wrote out, Mike Nielsen, Fruit
of the Loom ain’t got nothing on you. And I hung that,
my girlfriend helped me, and we hung it from the the roof
of the bookstore. [SOUND] And
then we did another one that said, Mike Nielsen, girls don’t make
passes at boys with bare asses. And we put that at
the base of the [SOUND]. And then I I hung all of his laundry,
his boxers, his underwear his t-shirts on the claw. [SOUND] Fortunately for
me he didn’t have an early class. So [LAUGH] this claw had
all of his underwear with those banners up until about 11:00
when somebody ran back to his door, saying Mike your underwear
is hanging on the claw. And to this day they swear they
could hear him yelling as he ran frantically from the Theta Delta
house all the way down to the claw. Jumped in and was pulling this stuff off, yelling, you know,
curses Sylvia Baldwin the entire time. Anyway, unfortunately, there was no
Instagram, or even an iPhone, to of historically recorded that but,
it would have been priceless. [MUSIC]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *