Daze Before Christmas – Game Grumps


[Arin:] I wrap stuff! [Danny:] I deliver that stuff! [Both:] Naughty or nice it’s the Jingle Grumps! [Both:] *Laughing* HO HO HO [Arin:] What the fuck is this shit?! [Danny:] Merry Christmas everybody! [Arin:] Aw, I didn’t even know there was a Super Nintendo… Christmas game but [Arin:] there is! It’s called *laughing* Daze Before Christmas. [Danny:] It sure as shit is and you better look out for that evil snowman *Arin laughs* [Danny:] ’cause he will fuck you up- [Danny:] Whoa this is very spry Santa we’ve got here [Arin:] Video games are very conflict driven concept right? [Danny:] They are, yeah. [Arin:] And- and in the Super Nintendo games, all games were platformers. [Danny:] Hm hm [Arin:] So they- they just HAD to make: [Arin:] Santa a hero, and all these fucking other characters a villain- [Arin:] *surprised* Frosty the Snowman! Look at how evil he looks! [Danny:] Look at that pissed-off Rolo with a mustache *laughs* [Arin:] That is just straight-up Rolo, I gotta agree with you [Danny:] I thought it was like the front of a beer keg, but it’s definitely a Rolo [Arin:] He’s got a gross mustache. I wouldn’t want to eat that shit *mumbles* get brains all- [Danny:] Whoah, easy Satan! [Arin:] Two player? [Danny:] Yes. [Arin:] You can play two player? [Danny:] Yes, please. [Arin:] All right. [Danny:] Dude. [Arin:] Why not? [Arin:] Only days before Christmas Santa slept in his house, an evil plot was brewing cooked up by an awful louse. [Danny:] By awful louse. There’s no “an” [Arin:] The cold (Danny laughs) and evil Snowman scared all the elves away. Time keeper stole plans from Santa’s house that day. [Danny:] What the fuck- [Arin:] But for the vicious Louse this wasn’t bad enough. I’m really gonna show him, I’m gonna play rough. [Danny:] Excellent, sexy even. [Arin:] Oh come on! [Danny:] He tore the pr- [Danny:] So Auntie M- (Arin laughs) [Danny:] And we’re playing the feud. [Arin:] Oh wow, it’s all the days until Christmas. [Danny:] Oh my God [Arin:] It’s all the days until Christmas they’re out of order. [Danny:] We started very early. [Arin:] They’re like all out of order. I don’t understand. What’s happening here [Danny:] I don’t understand what’s happening here. [Danny:] Did you see Santa with that present he was just chucking it like HA! [Arin:] WOW [Danny:] Damn. [Arin:] I hope Santa’s wacky like that. [Danny:] Yeah. [Arin:] Whenever he shows up at my house [Danny:] We’re in Santa’s hallway. [Arin:] WE’RE IN SANTA’S HALLWAY RIGHT NOW [Arin:] YOU’RE GONNA GET SOME PRESENTS BIG TIME [Danny:] Here Santa’s hot dog, throw it down the hallway. [Arin:] Fucking Santa’s just like [Arin:] No… [Both:] No, no. [Arin:] Please… [Danny:] Oh it looks like the weather outside- (Danny laughs) [Arin:] WHOA [Danny:] Yeah [Arin:] OKAY [Danny:] Wow [Danny:] That’s fantastic [Arin:] You, look what I can do! [Danny:] The weather outside looks frightful. But where’s the fire? Is it delightful? [Danny:] I don’t know. [Arin:] Ohhh [Danny:] Oh yeah, yeah. (Arin and Danny laugh) [Danny:] Whoa.. [Arin:] We got another hat. [Danny:] Yeah, excellent [Arin:] Better use it. [Danny:] What the fuck is going on here? [Arin:] I don’t know man. [Danny:] Whoa, whoa, whoa! [Arin:] Chill the fuck out, mouse. [Danny:] You just got the shit kicked out of you by an overalls-wearing mouse. [Arin:] Yeah and I wrapped his fucking gooey body in- [Danny:] Whoa, hey. Climb that cane bro. [Arin:] Can I? [Danny:] Yeah [Danny:] I don’t know how I knew that but yeah, you can. [Arin:] (singing) Do do do, do do do… [Danny:] Wow Santa’s stripper pole. (Arin laughs) [Danny:] Fucking take it off. [Arin:] Oh man, this is, this is fucking, this is great. [Danny:] Yeah. [Arin:] Do you think Chris Kringle- oh look at that, look at that [Arin:] He grows a- [Arin:] OHHHH [Arin:] There we go. That’s, that’s what I was looking for. [Danny:] Wait, you’ve got- [Arin:] OHH (Arin laughs) [Arin:] OOOOH [Danny:] Just airing out the taint. [Danny:] You got to do it sometimes. [Arin:] It gets really stuffy in this costume. [Danny:] Oh goodness. Why do you think I wear this skirt? [Arin:] I don’t wear this outfit all year just this one day. [Danny:] oh, there’s a s- oh, uh, yeah you got that, whatever that was. [Arin:] I got an extra ma- [Danny:] WHOA [Arin:] An extra man Santa. [Danny:] Dude, I’m not fe- WHOA you can just fucking disintegrate shit like that? [Arin:] Well they turn into presents. [Danny:] They turn into presents? [Arin:] Yeah and then you put them in your magic sack. [Danny:] Are you serious? [Arin:] Yeah. [Danny:] You’re giving innocent children rat presents? [Arin:] Look, [Danny:] Oh my God you’re right. [Arin:] Yeah, see? They turn into presents. [Danny:] Wow that’s fucked up. [Arin:] It’s pretty fucked. [Arin:] To be perfectly honest with you, I’m not okay with it. [Danny:] It’s on the news that night like, WHOOAAA [Arin:] WHAT THE FUCK, I’M SORRY WHAT? [Danny:] Dude Santa and Satan are just one switch of two letters away. [Danny:] God this is so weird. [Arin:] I’m like, I don’t even know what fucking, is this based on like Tahitian Santa-lore or something? [Danny:] Yeah it’s actually very intense. [Arin:] Jesus, what the fuck? [Danny:] This is like some Krampus shit [Arin:] Yeah this is definitely not German like “ho ho ho” [Danny:] This is not jolly St. Nick. This is the Santa that like steals children in the night. [Arin:] (Satan voice) Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah, I’ll get you for this kids [Danny:] Oh my God. [Arin:] (Satan voice) I will make you suffer. [Danny:] Did you just catch fire? Like how can Satan be hurt by fire? [Arin:] Uhhh… [Danny:] The ultimate irony [Arin:] Maybe it made him stronger. And then he just disappeared. [Danny:] Hey level completed, you did it. Fucking great work Arin. [Arin:] Congratulations me. [Danny:] Really outstanding. [Arin:] Really love the enthusiasm [Danny:] Yeah, I like how the snow just looks like feathers. It looks like a duck exploded and it’s- [Danny:] That’s the picture I like with Santa chucking it like HA! (Arin laughs) [Arin:] It’s a smoking chimney too so- [Danny:] Eat that shit! [Arin:] There’s a fire down there. [Danny:] Yeah well he’s trying to kill the rat monster he put in that present. [Arin:] What the hell’s going on dude? [Danny:] This is so weird. Are we frozen? Is that what’s happening right now? Or is there just extreme loading time? [Arin:] No the music’s still going. [Danny:] Hmm. [Arin:] Is it, is it, is it…did I? [Danny:] Oh..is it? Mmm..Oh, oh whoa! [Arin:] No, no I’m not playing this on an emulator! I’m not at all! (Danny laughs) [Arin:] Don’t, Don’t AW SHIT [Arin:] AH HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE? [Danny:] Arin.. [Arin:] AH JEEZ [Danny:] And on Christmas too. [Arin:] I’m gonna take a screenshot real quick. (Danny laughs) [Arin:] All right, FUCK [Arin:] Santa what are you doing buddy? [Dannyy:] I can’t believe you Arin. [Arin:] YOU CAN’T FUCKING, YOU CAN’T [Danny:] A fucking emulator. [Arin:] You [Danny:] You never told me. [Arin:] You can’t, no, don’t even start with me buddy. [Danny:] I can’t believe it. [Arin:] WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING? [Danny:] This is the worst. This is the worst. [Arin:] Wha- you can’t- there’s no- I’m pressing every, all the buttons. [Danny:] Look at those reindeer showing us their butts as they’re like “aw well see ya later”. [Arin:] I’m pressing every all the buttons. [Danny:] Oh my God. [Arin:] Alright, you know, fuck it. Just fuck it. No just fuck it. [Danny:] Is it time for Christmas uhh fucking Grumpcast? [Arin:] No we’re doing fucking, we’re doing uhh (Danny laughs) [Arin:] Uhh we’re gonna play… [Danny:] What is happening? [Arin:] Uh Christmas, uhh [Both:] COBRA GIRLS! [Danny:] YAAAYY have fun! [Arin:] Well there seems to be a demand for those Japanese pics because there’s so much of the stuff around [Both:] So if you want to hear you got it. [Danny:] El Caracho presents Cobra Girls [Arin:] Jesus, this is porno. [Danny:] I think the real ones are better, but the choice is yours. Let’s play it. Let’s do it [Arin:] I’m pretty sure this is porno. [Danny:] If this is porno I am way into it, and this is gonna be the best episode of all time. [Arin:] What’s going- are you- [Danny:] Oh, oh…gimme those Cobra Girls. [Arin:] What’s going on? [Arin:] Are the Cobra Girls coming or not? I WANT THE COBRA GIRLS! FUCK YOU COBRA GIRLS! (Danny laughs) [Arin:] How about…okay, okay, okay (Danny laughs) [Arin:] Uhhhh [Danny:] MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY [Arin:] It’s a Christmas, uhh Chow Wai Man [Danny:] WHAT THE FUCK [Arin:] WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING? WHAT IS THIS? WHAT? (Danny laughs) [Arin:] Hold on a sec. [Danny:] Is it just a woman? [Arin:] It’s just pictures of a lady. [Danny:] Of a lady named Chow Wai Man? [Arin:] She’s beautiful. [Danny:] She’s gorgeous. She’s not even a man. [Arin:] What the FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK? (Danny laughs) [Danny:] What is this? (Danny laughs harder) [Arin:] What? There’s nothing to get- [Danny:] Just, Just taking a screenshot for later. [Arin:] That’s a good one. Ooh she looks very candid there. [Danny:] Oh hi, how are you? [Arin:] This is in the Christmas- thank you Santa. [Danny:] Boy, I’m sure she thought she’d be on Game Grumps one day. What an honour for her. Okay, [Danny:] Chester Cheetah: Wild Wild Quest, here we go! [Arin:] Wild Wild Quest, Imma take you to the wild wild quest. [Danny:] Yes, like why did we just look at pictures of an Asian woman? [Arin:] (singing) We’re going straight to, the wild wild quest. We’re going straight to- [Danny:] Is this a Mark Sprenger production? [Arin:] Oh yeah dude it’s from Recot Inc. [Danny:] Oh outstanding [Danny:] Let’s do- Yeah “Chester, Cheetah here inviting you to be my guest on a wild wild quest” (Arin laughs) [Arin:] Woo alright! [Danny:] What is happening right now? [Arin:] I’m so fucking stoked for this. [Danny:] Is this the first time that two games have ever been played on one episode of Game Grumps? [Arin:] Sure [Danny:] Why not? [Arin:] Well, yeah- [Danny:] Look at us breaking new ground on Christmas [Arin:] Damn dude, I can’t even imagine what the thumbnail is gonna be. [Danny:] This is very- (Danny breaks out laughing) [Arin:] It should just be only a picture of Wang Hai- [Danny:] Chow Wai Man? (Both laugh hysterically) [Arin:] Alright Chester Cheetah [Danny:] Wait… [Arin:] Is it loading? (Danny laughs) Are, like, is every game broken? [Arin:] It’s…like everything’s broken! [Danny:] (Laughing) Oh my God and after Chester like fucking gave us an introduction and everything! [Arin:] I can’t even, I can’t believe this dude. [Danny:] Ooh Julio Chavez Boxing [Arin:] Chavez Boxing? [Danny:] Julio Cesar Chavez [Arin:] Uhh, sure. [Danny:] Chavez Boxing. YES oh a Malibu Interactive [Arin:] “Licenciada por Nintendo” [Danny:] YEAHHHH THERE HE IS! (Arin laughs) [Arin:] (In an accent) Hello thank you for playing my game. (Danny laughs hysterically) [Arin:] (Still in an accent) Yes, okay. I fight for you. [Danny:] You can see his nose is slightly askew from years of boxing. [Danny:] Oh man, okay yep. [Arin:] Raul Ramirez [Danny:] Third game’s a charm! Whoa. [Arin:] “Selecciona a tu oponente” [Danny:] The years have not been kind to these- who created these guys? [Arin:] Alias Allan? [Danny:] Oh sweet, unlockable characters. We’ll get back to that. [Arin:] I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be Jose Baez [Danny:] Are you sure you’re not Raul Ramirez? [Arin:] No I’m Raul Ramirez, I’m fighting Jose Baez. [Danny:] Okay, let’s do it. Ah you’re a categoria- …What’s twenty five in Spanish? [Arin:] Uhhh [Danny:] (Laughs) What is happening right now? [Arin:] Cinco de Mayo [Danny:] Cinco de Mayo? [Arin:] Yeah fuck off! Fucking Jose! [Danny:] Yeah baby [Danny Ahhh [Arin:] Look at this, look at this, watch this, huh huh huh [Danny:] Quickly, you’re running out of Tiempo [Arin:] Oh yeah look at that [Danny:] Baez! Come on Baez! [Danny:] Wow. This game is exactly as riveting as I hoped it would be. [Danny:] Oh brought to you by Sabritas and Pepsi and Doritos [Arin:] Look how fucking intense this is. I’m like duh-duh-duh-duh [Danny:] Arin, [Arin:] What? [Danny:] Do you ever enjoy eating a delicious bag of Doritos? [Arin:] Yes, what about Pepsi? And Sabritas? [Danny:] Is Doritos a Spanish name? I never put that together. Is that possible? [Arin:] It sounds like it yeah, I mean it’s like a tortilla chip. [Danny:] When it’s put next to Sabritas it suddenly makes a lot of sense [Arin:] Alright, next time on Game Grumps. [Danny:] No! What are you talking about next time on Game Grumps? I need to see how this ends! [Arin:] Oh alright [Danny:] We’ve got twelve rounds to go! (Both start laughing) [Arin:] WOW that’s a lot of rounds! [Arin:] Whoa that’s a lot of junk shots right there. [Danny:] Yeah, oh yeah keep wailing on him you’re doing some damage [Arin:] Take it! [Danny:] Go low, go low! [Danny:] Goddamn, everyone really fucking regains health super fast in this. [Arin:] Just staying low right now, oh hold on there we go. [Danny:] Keep pounding! Keep pounding the rock! [Arin:] Get gut shots [Danny:] Gut shot! Oh OH OH ALMOST GOT HIM! [Danny:] Do it for Santa, do for Santa! [Arin:] Get him right in the fucking gut. Just pop him in the gut, BAM RIGHT IN THE FUCKING FACE! [Danny:] No, go low, go low you’re nailing him AHH AHHHH ALMOST [Arin:] Just a pot shot to the face [Danny:] COME ON NOOO [Arin:] Ah shit no he’s gaining back. [Danny:] Yeah [Arin:] He’s coming back [Danny:] Keep him in the corner, keep him in the corner. You’re running out of tiempo. (Arin laughs) [Danny:] Fucking goddammit. [Arin:] Adios mio! [Danny:] Adios mio! [Arin:] Come on stop blocking, stop blocking! [Danny:] (Singing) [Danny:] Oof [Arin:] I just can’t fucking, I can’t get him, I can’t take him out. [Danny:] Ah what a shame, what a shame [Arin:] (sighs) He’s so fucking difficult [Danny:] Well it’s okay, I think you still run ou- CONTINUA? [Arin:] Wha- oh no the bell rang. [Danny:] That’s the bell. You were saved by the bell, Baez [Danny:] Well… [Arin:] I feel like that was a victory [Danny:] Yeah I think so, ARIN WINS [Danny:] ARIN WINS CHRISTMAS! [Arin:] Next time on Jingle Ga-rumps [Danny:] Yeah who the fuck even knows anymore? [Danny:] Well, I hope you enjoyed this uhh Daze Before Christmas playthrough [Arin:] Merry Christmas everybody! [Danny:] Merry Christmas! WOO [Danny:] Wow, you are very effectividad [Danny:] Feliz effectividad [Arin:] Feliz effectividad! [Arin:] Feliz effectividad!

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