Being The Non-Drinker In The Room with Jamie & Shaaba! // Vlogmas 2019 Day 4
Being The Non-Drinker In The Room with Jamie & Shaaba! // Vlogmas 2019 Day 4

68 thoughts on “Being The Non-Drinker In The Room with Jamie & Shaaba! // Vlogmas 2019 Day 4”

  1. James Westbrook says:

    Due to how news stations would present murder stories as a kid(probably do it the same way now) as the murderer being drunk and murdering both his parents, combined with the amount of media showcasing what happens when you're an alcoholic, personal experiences with alcohol(having a mother who was an alcoholic, who also died from deliberately mixing alcohol and countless pills of sleeping medication), seeing how obsessed people were in high school(sister would sneak it to school and also steal it from our legal guardians)and the fact I can't drink too much without it risking some sort of bad combination with the medications I am taking- I don't really partake in alcohol, other than to sip it.

    But in my culture there is a lot of emphasis on alcohol. There are always parties for younger people, and my sister and other students had problems with mixing it and school for some reason? When my sister was more or less my legal guardian for a brief period, our oldest sister had to make her stop going out at night for the parties she was doing because it heavily impacted her daily mood. I don't really go to bars or to parties, since I'm more of an internet person than an irl person, so I wouldn't know about the party culture other than what I assume and from what my sister tells me. But as far as I can tell, a good portion of adult gatherings in Southern US does involve alcohol to an extent.

    On my 21st birthday I drank maybe a can of some sort of cherry flavored alcohol, had a headache even though I thought I was drinking enough water, and that is my only experience with drinking more than a few sips of alcohol.

    I love Jamie and Shaaba! I'll have to check them out.

  2. bigpanda1228 says:

    As a non-drinker, I do believe it is time for me to find the trans events in my community, just so I can have some non-alcohol based events to go to! I’m a lawyer, and I don’t know how it is in England, but in the US, every legal event revolves around alcohol. Yes, it can be entertaining to be the only sober one in a room, but that mostly goes for being with a group of friends who say hilarious things that you can tease them about forever. Being the only sober one in a room full of professional contacts is very, very dull.

    I don’t drink because 2 attempts before I was of legal drinking age both ended with violent vomiting minutes after starting to sip the drink. I asked a doctor who told me it is a genetic inability to digest alcohol due to an extra enzyme or a missing one (I’m 62 and I’ve never been able to remember which!) In all the years since, I’ve twice been handed a drink I didn’t realize was alcoholic and both ended abruptly the same way as my earlier attempts.

    I used to just say “I don’t drink” but that led to a lot of people quizzing me on why I didn’t drink. Then the concept of designated driver was developed, and for awhile, I could just say that I was the DD for the evening and that would do it. Then people went back to challenging me. So I’ve changed my approach to a more brutal one – I say “I am genetically incapable of digesting alcohol. If you give me a drink I don’t realize is spiked, I will give it back in under 5 minutes, possibly on your shoes.” That usually stops the conversation entirely but it also stops people trying to sneak alcohol into something I’m drinking.

    I also hate all soft drinks so I’m usually drinking straight water. Like Jessica, I need to drink pretty steadily throughout the day, and often through the night too. I don’t drink 8 liters though; probably 3 or 4 on an average day. And I can tell you that people with chronic dry mouth, whether due to genetics or medication side effects, can expect to pay way more in dental expenses than other people. I just try not to think about it!

    And just a hint about groups involving parents – parents of young children often drink as a coping mechanism. One of the two spiked drinks I was unknowingly given was at the day care for all 3 of our young kids – it was a parent & child evening holiday potluck and was the last place I expected alcohol to be served. When I pointed that out to the staff later on, they said that given the choice between an evening at home with alcohol or an evening party with other parents without alcohol, people uniformly chose the former.

    My family drink with my parents drinking far more than any of their kids ever have. One sister doesn’t like the taste or the risk of losing control, and the other drinks in extremely limited situations and never very much. My parents had “drink time” when my dad got home from work and wine with dinner became more and more of a thing as time went by. My genetic inability to handle alcohol is spontaneous, and while it can be inherited, my 3 kids don’t seem to have got it. One enjoys wine, one is strongly affected by even a little wine and has never tried anything stronger, and one just hates the taste of everything tried to date.

    The genetic oddity shows up around the world, but is most common in Japan (in terms of distribution as an absolute percentage of population.) It is considered a major affliction for men because business dinners involve a lot of alcohol. In the US, many people agree with my husband when he says “the moment I found out she couldn’t drink was the moment I decided to marry her” So the idea of a permanently sober driver is appealing, apparently!

    I really found this episode unexpectedly informative because I had no idea that Pride events were so alcohol driven, and I’m really interested that trans events tend not to have it be such a central part of events.

  3. M S says:

    Norway has a really awfull drinking culture too. Everyone getting super drunk at parties is kinda the norm, especially among young people (18 is the legal drinking age, but a lot of people in my home town started drinking at 15). I've never tried alcohol, simply because I never felt like drinking. Kinda sucks to be the only none drinker, expecially since I'm quite introverted and not good at small talk lol.

    Luckily, I now have a couple of good friends who also don't drink. One of them being like me (never tried), and the other one stopped drinking recently, because she felt a lot better without alcohol. I don't see them super often, but we met last weekend and went out to a restaurant eating pizza, and it was super nice!

  4. VivaLaWhatshernameTV says:


  5. Marta Aleksejczuk says:

    "We emptied the wine bottle and filled it with water."
    Ah, yes
    The Inverted Jesus

  6. tyler's channel says:

    aaaah! my fave youtubers!!!

  7. Psychwriteify says:

    Alcohol has been the only painkiller that consistently works.
    Most of the time I just try to limit the pain but honestly if someone is asking me to socialize after a long day on my feet alcohol really helps.

  8. Shannon Walls says:

    Awwwww, Jamie & Shaaba! (waves frantically) (realizes this is the internet) (wanders away slightly sheepishly).

  9. Shannon Walls says:

    Jessica's frock & accessories are stunning.

  10. ElliottN says:


  11. Witchyforplants says:

    All of my favorites in one video, hell yeah!

  12. terri-louise Ó leathlobhair says:

    I loved Jamie's channel but he insists on using auto captions but mumbling and whispering in almost all his videos. I tried to keep watching but unfortunately it was just inaccessible to me.

  13. NaomiHelenn says:

    I really enjoyed the video! I very very rarely drink alcohol, normally I am the designated driver so that tends to work for me because people want me to stay sober!

  14. Justina Kenyon says:

    I'm not a big drinker at all. I used to not drink at all, but now I might have a glass of something occasionally. But never beer because it is so gross! Drinking has never been a big thing in my immediate family, so I think it was just natural for me to not. I also don't like the taste of most alcohol and am way too much of a control freak to want my inhibitions lowered.

  15. GloriaJ123456 says:

    I also don’t drink, it’s also something that a TON of people in the US think is very odd. I literally told someone five times I don’t drink as they were asking me what wine I preferred. I told them I don’t drink and even when I did I’ve always disliked wine. “oh, you’ll like this one!” Shoves cup into hand. Luckily it was dark out so as they were drunkenly babbling at me I was able to subtly pour the wine out. 😩 So annoying when people don’t respect your decisions- especially something that can lead to an addiction as it has done with so many people. 🙄 Lovely video, so nice to see likeminded people.💗

  16. Dani M says:

    OK! Now I know there is a term for what I am! I don't like drinking at all, but I totally understand Jamie watching all the other drunk people and their hilarity!!! 🙂

  17. Amber Rogers says:

    Ahhhhh!! It’s like my two favorite channels and all my favorite people hanging out in one placeeeee. ❤️❤️❤️

  18. that_pac12 says:

    I'm living for this collab.

  19. Isaac Fontes says:


  20. Katja Macabre says:


  21. Katja Macabre says:


  22. Tatiana Leutwiler says:

    Can you imagine not finding everyone in this video extremely attractive? I can't.

  23. Katja Macabre says:

    My family have a 6pm alcohols rule

  24. m b says:

    I honestly love this collab so much, absolutely love both of these channels😍

  25. Uni corn says:

    Everyone chilling in sweaters and comfy clothes,while she's just so extra with her fancy dress :p

  26. thaiane Almeida says:

    The theme of this video ? why?

  27. Rebelwheels NYC says:

    as a person who can't drink alcohol nor have sugar, this was kinda lovely to watch <3

  28. im19ice3 says:

    loved it! very fun! ive always been a weirdo party animal hyperactive sort of person and during youth it kinda sucked because people were so fixated on being 'cool' that i ended up only having fun by myself, so even though i dont drink i like drunk parties better because i do indeed ft in with all the other people losing themselves to do whatever, i usually accept the first drink and just sp at it very very veeery slowly so that then i can find a drunk person and give them the rest of it like i got it for them XD when i do actually drink i end up fighting people :/ so that just added to the dislike i already had for the taste and the consequences ^~^'' i wish i were a more collected person so that i could at least pull the designated driver card and not just negotiating my way out of shots or chugging

  29. Sam says:

    My biggest annoyance about not drinking is the lack of respect from others when you say you don’t drink and don’t really have a reason beyond “I don’t want to”/“I don’t like it”. If offered a drink, after some persistence, they eventually try for a soft drink instead but I only drink water really, which is free, and I have to ask for no lemon so I’d sooner do it myself. I just don’t want or need other people to get me any kind of drink, ever, but they always feel obliged and like I’m the one in the wrong for refusing.

  30. Austyn Tanner says:


  31. Kali tragus says:

    I drink but I'm also the only one of my friends with a driver's license and a car (no transit available), so I'm automatically the designated driver!

  32. Allie Labrecque says:

    all my favs in one video ❤️

  33. Shayla Lazenby says:

    I'm always happy to see people talking about not drinking. I don't know how it compares to England, but being a non-drinker in North America feels similarly alienating, so I really appreciate seeing a conversation with three other non-drinkers (and one Claudia, because she's always good in a video). I drank a bit when I turned 19 (the legal age in Canada), but by the time I was 20 I stopped pretty much permanently. I tell people it's because when I was drinking, I got drunk one time and didn't dismiss the idea of driving while impaired outright, and I don't trust myself when I've shown my judgement can get so impaired (if anyone is worrying, I didn't actually drive – I just considered it and another friend outright forbid it, something for which I am eternally grateful). While that is technically true, the fact is that for years I was worried that if I drank, I'd come out as trans while I was drunk before I was ready, so I didn't let myself drink out of fear of that. I've since come out and am living my life the way I'm most comfortable, but the not drinking has stuck, and I'm pretty content to live a life where I don't get drunk.

    This has been storytime with a random person in the YouTube comments!

  34. ThisIsARubbishName says:

    Omg a collab with people I KNOW and like! And its about not drinking, which is relatable at the moment!

  35. ThisIsARubbishName says:

    Omg a collab with people I KNOW and like! And its about not drinking, which is relatable at the moment!

  36. Hannelore17 says:

    I get cluster headaches between Oct and March and cannot drink (though otherwise I am a one-a-week drinker). One of the few reliably identifiable triggers of cluster headaches is alcohol, and unfortunately my cluster period falls in prime drinking/party time. I live in Idaho in a very productive wine region and work in a large hospitality business, so it seems every holiday party and every outing is at a winery, a brewery, a tasting room, or an event location that heavily features local alcoholic beverages. If you don’t participate, you’re “not supporting the local economy.” (eyeroll) It can feel rather exclusionary.

    As an introvert, someone who is probably already feeling bad from the medication side effects, and who additionally feels seasonal effects of bipolar 2 (not to mention I don’t celebrate Christmas!), I’m pretty much just avoiding holiday parties or skipping out early. Otherwise I just grab a hot cocoa and gab with the rest until the party gets too rowdy, then I’m on my way. I’m glad for my introversion and general overfrugality in this case only so I don’t feel like I’m missing out on too much “fun stuff.” 😛

  37. Liv says:

    omg I feel so understood! Thank you so much for making this video!!

  38. Lory A says:

    I'm Colombian and Alcohol is a big thing in both my families!

    (Rant bellow because I didn't pay attention to how much I wrote)

    In my mom's side, my great-grandfather would give each grandchild a bottle of beer in parties that lasted them through the night, and in my dad's side rum is A Really Big Thing, but my great-grandmother loved aguardiente with sprite, and even joked about sprite (as in the soda) being the thing that made you drunk.

    My parents have always given me small doses of alcohol to the point it's normalised and easily available, so I don't feel the necessity my fellow peers (I'm a teenager/young adult) have with getting completely wasted. I do enjoy a sip of it from time to time at family gatherings or events, but I could live without it.

    Idk alcohol is weird and to each their own

  39. Steph Campbell says:

    I very very very rarely drink, my boyfriend doesn't either. We are the odd balls to our friends and family! It's great. We is usually on babysitting duty! But yayyy babies

  40. whimsikate says:

    Jamie & Shaaba's sweater game = A+++++++++

  41. Mina L H says:

    This is a bit out of topic, but lord, I can't stop being in awe at the quality of the video. The colours are so warm 😍

  42. Symphony Sonic says:

    HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT I was not ready for this collab 😱🙏 truely a Christmas miracle

  43. jayelizaa says:

    Oh yay!! 2 of my fave channels together!!

  44. Malika Lim says:

    oh my lord jamie "what are they" I'm dead.

  45. January Milk says:

    The amount of drinking/drinkers varies in my friend group but for Halloween we now do a non drinking party at my house because we all love doing elaborate costumes and were tired of going 'into town' where it felt like the only option was to be amongst the drinking and all the loudness/mess/inconvenience that involves when really all we wanted to do was sit around and show off our costumes to each other

  46. Julia Rose says:

    Yesss, as a student who does not drink it can be so frustrating socially…in Canada (my home country) its not too bad (ppl more alarmed that I don't drink coffee than the no alcohol thing) but since being abroad in Netherlands I haven't been able to go to or enjoy any student events because all late at night and all drinking oriented :/
    Also, so happy to see these four beautiful rays of sunshine all at once!! Love you guys.

  47. Erinn Harnden says:


  48. wickedest-witch says:

    Jessica I really feel you on the awkwardness of refusing multiple drinks at events…I don't have any health related dietary restrictions when it comes to beverages (or in general) – I'm just what I would describe as a "picky drinker". I don't like soda or carbonated water, and fruit juices/other drinks are really hit and miss. I genuinely like plain water! When I ask for a glass of water at events people will often list all of their other drink options and I have to convince them that actually, I am very happy with a glass of water. Or people will assume I'm on a diet, when I'm not at all – I just genuinely like non-carbonated water.

  49. Vincent Elian Fay Rose says:

    Omg this is the best collab ever!

  50. RavenGhole says:


  51. LifeLostSoul says:

    I'm pretty sure there is less drinking at Trans Pride because the Gay and Lesbian community has been supported by Absolut Vodka since the 70s before a B or a T was added.

  52. LifeLostSoul says:

    Most alcohol triggers my migraines. 🙃

  53. Chronically Fabulous says:

    Every single person in this video is dishy AF and watching gorgeous people talk about stuff that's super relatable for me (being a queer, non-binary, disabled person who can't drink alcohol or sugary drinks) has genuinely brightened up my morning, so thank you 😁💖

    Also, being a non-drinker here in Australia is even weirder than it is in the UK 🤣 (I'm from Liverpool, but now live in Western Australia). My adoptive country has a huge alcohol problem 😓

  54. BattyButtercup says:

    i'm wholly sober yet am, almost ALWAYS, mistaken as being high/tipsy on nights out. the "revelation" that i've been chugging WATER (yay, chronic dehydration) never fails to leave others HILARIOUSLY SHOCKED.

    i assume that i'm so frequently mistaken as high because i habitually Dad Dance to make others join in AS SOON AS I'M IN A CLUB, after growing up doing dance i'm USED to Feeling Ridiculous & even ENJOY it, if only because of how funny it is when people get embarrassed FOR you.

    (nothing like doing dance matinees well into your teens, stuffed into the same fake-wings the six year olds are wearing, and then whacking yourself in the face with said wings every other turn to make "shame" a fond memory from a bygone era)

  55. Ravina says:

    As someone who isn't really into alcohol and is a first year gay uni student (the time of peoples lives where everyone is super obsessed with being either drunk or high every weekend) its really nice to see two youtubers that I respect a lot be unapologetic about this topic. I stay away from peer pressure but its hard to not feel like your somehow wrong for not wanting to do what others are doing or that your being unfriendly/bad. People always get kinda weird around me when I tell them I don't drink just because I don't want to. This video is really important!

  56. Kestrel Perron says:

    Is trans pride only a thing in the UK? I've never heard of on in the US.

  57. Kate Johannesen says:

    as a fellow tran, i support "transliness"

  58. Kate Johannesen says:

    "there are no LGBT events that don't revolve around alcohol" THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYINGGGG

  59. boredjerboa says:

    I went through a short drinking phase before stopping because it seemed like a waste of money and then promptly becoming allergic to it thanks to mcas lmao

  60. Farah Ch says:

    the lgbtq+ events not revolving around alcohol is honestly so real, as a queer muslim im not the most comfortable in drinking settings like pubs and bars, i always feel out of place, but even aside from that it's inaccessible to people like recovering alcoholics, or those who could be triggered being in that kind of environment, and even for underage people; a lot of times kids who are closeted would find it hard to go to events that are queer and also accessible to them. anyways i feel really strongly about this and when you mentioned it i was like yES

  61. Matheus Oliveira Kühn says:

    I live in Brazil and in every party, in barbecues (which is very common here, at least in my region) and in social gatherings people drink beer, always. It's almost a law (socially) to have beer when a lot of people gather. And a lot of people drink beer at home, after a day's work. In parties it's common to have vodka, there may be other beverages, but vodka is the most common. Wine is drunk by some people at home, and like in weddings, but not always. There's a kind of drink that is made from sugar cane, cachaça (I don't think there's a word in English for this beverage), and it's mainly drank at bars and at some parties. I don't know a lot because I usually don't drink, because my body literally hates beer (I can't even smell it), and I have a stomach disease that makes it hard to drink other alcoholic beverages.

  62. Ruth DesJarlais says:

    I am 33 and literally have never been drunk in my life. I HATE the idea of vomiting, once more you are paying for the possibility of vomiting! I occasionally have a glass of wine but don’t love it. I did grow up in a pretty religious home where alcohol never was around but even after becoming an adult and moving out just didn’t have the interest 🤷🏻‍♀️

  63. Rebecca Hurford says:

    People really don't understand that I don't drink often just because it usually doesn't make me feel very good mentally. I usually just tell people that I can't drink on my medication (which isn't 100% a lie, but not the real reason) because people seem to find it easier to understand that "I can't drink" instead of "I don't want to today". I've struggled to be involved with uni events this year because they're mostly nightclub type events that I don't enjoy
    This was a validating video to watch 🙂

  64. Ava Lewis says:

    I live in Singapore and cannot FATHOM how someone drinks only 2 glasses of water a day.


  65. blondcockerel says:

    To be honest, I feel like the reason trans pride tends to be less focused on alcohol is because so many of us are on some kind of anti-depressant? For example, with my TCAs I just can't drink at all, but even for people on SSRIs or SNRIs, it's still not exactly encouraged… so there are more people looking for non-alcoholic options?

  66. Frutimoonx says:

    I'm French and I don't drink.
    I've literally heard comments in parties saying: "Well, you're not really French then" or "Do you realize what image of France you give living in Germany and not drinking?"
    So much about alcohol culture I guess (:

    Oh and EVERYTIME I tell an absolute unknown person "no thank you I don't drink", they HAVE to ASK the reason why because it is so important for them to know HOW you could make such a choice??? As if I choose to idk walking on my hands instead of on my feet? Can people stop being so rude and intrusive some day??
    And I feel the part about LGBTI+ events being so much about night life and alcohol. I'm glad I am noticing a switch lately but GOD I spent my entire teens on my own because I had virtualy no events to go to (and felt even more akwkard as a LGBTI+ not integrating in their community…)!

  67. Dragoon23 says:

    Yay, more people who don't drink or like the taste of alcohol! I'm not alone! Great video and collab.

  68. sprinkleofpepper says:

    Oh my lord, this is the perfect collaboration that I never knew I needed!

  69. Sarah Hamilfan says:

    I don't drink, because, why would I? It's dangerous to your health and the few things I've tried were not very nice. I'm also not super comfortable around other people who drink due to a long history of reading books with abusive alcoholic parents in them. I'm slowly learning that irl drunk people aren't that bad. Most of my friends do drink, and I'm not gonna stop them because that's none of my business.

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